The Walking Terminator of Hell
by Thugs Bunny 009
Summary: Yusuke never would've thought being an supremely powerful demon with nigh-unlimited power would come in so handy until the day a young woman with a growth spurt problem lured him into a new world, expecting him to be her familiar, to put it in nicer terms. Of course anyone who knew Yusuke Urameshi knew he was NO ONE's bitch. Dark!Yusuke
1. The Fear of God

**Disclaimer: I don't own YuYu Hakusho or The Familiar of Zero or The Legend of Zelda**

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><p><span>The Walking Terminator of Hell<span>

**Chapter one**

The 

Fear

of 

God?

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><p>"What a ride that was," Sarcastically quipped the founder of the prestigious Makai tournament and member of the most renown demon tribe in existence; Yusuke Urameshi.<p>

Nonchalantly fanning his entire arm to the side Yusuke completely blew the cloud of debris smoke aroused by the former explosion to the side revealing his attire.

It struck him as odd to see so many oddly-dressed folk eyeing him with varying degrees of confusion and bewilderment. It was very peculiar, especially considering the fact his garments consisted of a simple long-sleeved green dress shirt over a short-sleeved white t shirt. For extra comfort and decency, the young man additionally wore a pair of beige slacks and green wooden sandals on his feet.

Although none of the aforementioned piece of gear on the young man's person was particularly prominent. That one light spot in the abyss of darkness that was his heart was saved for a medium-sized gun-shaped pendant wrapped around his neck.

His black gelled-back hair offered a supplementary touch to his style of delinquency.

"I'm in a bad mood now," Yusuke muttered to himself.

He was already increasingly annoyed with the world before he was rudely dragged here.

…Well, not so much as 'dragged' here – wherever 'here' was – more inappropriately lured here via underhanded means.

Just gazing around gave him the impression he had been brought over to Hogwarts, but the last time he checked he hadn't miraculously walked through a wall. In his case the wall had been substituted for a magical vortex distributing an alluring voice.

Closing his eyes to momentarily give his hearing a boost in adequacy, Yusuke calmly listened in to the various conversations, trying to single out the voice that lured him here with a tone that promised him enlightenment.

It didn't take long for him to frown in his failed endeavour.

'Um. Can barely understand a fucking word that's flying out of their traps,' Yusuke mused, feeling a little more troubled now, 'Their gibberish sounds like french to my knowledge, but if that was the case…' He would be on Planet Earth, but if he was on Planet Earth then the distinct energy-signatures of his beloved ones would be as plain as day to his senses.

Yusuke kept his cold expression on even when a short girl with luscious, glistening pink wavy hair stepped in front of him. By her eyes he could tell she was in dry debrief, a discovery which instantaneously made him suspiciously narrow his eyes at her.

The fact that her expression turned outright indignant in response to his accusatory-look made it clear she arrogantly expected him to be more passive.

When she opened her mouth, she ranted, that much was clear to the disinterested young man who was more interested in studying the expressions of the girl's fellow classmates, it seems, judging by their identical garments. When he saw that most 'wizards,' but not all were distinctly sniggering at the pink-haired wizard, he inwardly sighed.

At least he could understand their laughter.

"Shut up," Yusuke commanded, now thoroughly fed up with the girl's venomous shouting. Seeing the blank expression now adorning her features, Yusuke quickly deduced she couldn't understand him as much as he couldn't piece together her words. Lazily putting his finger to the blinking eyed girl's forehead, Yusuke slowly pushed his index finger outwards, forcing the girl several feet away from him.

"Kyaaa!" Well, at least her screaming was decipherable.

Shuffling his hands into his pockets, Yusuke watched the crowd of gathered wizards gaping like a band of deer caught in the headlights, as if he had committed some unspeakable crime.

"You jerk!" The pink-haired girl's insult was crystal clear to Yusuke. He had spent enough time in french-classes and just about every other class teaching students to speak in an entirely different language they wasn't familiar with to insult someone in just about three varying languages.

It was because of this was why his next course of action would be very simple. Internally singling out the word he was searching for, a mischievous grin crossed his visage.

"Bitch."

That one word, so venomous, but spoken in their native-tongue silenced the wizards in utter mute contemplation, trying to theorize how a supposed loyal servant of some sort could speak with not only such profanity, but also disrespect to his partner.

But since the floored girl appeared to be an object of ridicule the floodgates broke to allow a wave of cruel, mocking laughter to thunder across the clearing, eliciting a small, barely noticeable soft sympathetic sigh of leniency from a nigh-bald man.

"Louise the zero!"

"-Can't handle her familiar!"

"And he's just a peasant too."

"I'm surprised he wasn't an explosion with her trapped record."

"You know what they say, once a zero, always one."

Be able to instinctively discern bits and pieces of their language when it came to slander, Yusuke not only gained the oddly named girl's most known title but a sense of guilt as a sort of weird backlash to obtaining the knowledge.

'Stupid conscious,' Yusuke dryly reflected, watching Louise tentatively stand back up to her feet with an air of consternation hanging over her, her cheeks blazing with shiny red circles printed on them.

"I-It's not funny," Louise insisted with a stammer of equalled persistence and wariness.

"My, how fitting it is for the 'Zero' to summon a disobedient familiar," A busty dark-skinned woman with long rosy hair stretching past her lower back cheerfully tossed the dubbed Zero a cruel, snide remark.

Yusuke stared open-mouthed at the obvious distinguishable limps on the red-haired wizard's body, "Hot damn! What a pair of watermelons those are. Sure is enough to turn a guy's frown upside down alright," He said, instinctively speaking in his native tongue.

"Why… can't I understand you again?" Louise murmured cautiously, simply not willing to demand anything of the absurdly strong, rebellious young man until she had definite supremacy in some form over him.

She did, however, look on with dry annoyance at Yusuke's leering expression directed at her chief rival, 'Does he really have the nerve to orgy that hussy Kiriche after he so impudently knocked me, his master, down!? How dishonourable!'

It was just unfortunate for Louise that the sultry smile on Kiriche's countenance divulged her awareness of Yusuke's ogling of her. It was only natural. She had a myriad of experience when it came to seducing men to know when they were checking out her DD-cup breasts instead of her eyes.

"It would seem your familiar would much rather prefer me as opposed to you," Kiriche said with a wink at Yusuke, eliciting a flinch from Louise while the male populace of the wizards just smirked knowingly, "Isn't that so, dearie?"

"Stop flirting with my familiar, you slut!" Louise screeched commandingly.

"Oh. Why, I can't help it if darling happens to have tastes, right handsome?" Kiriche retorted lecherously, striking an above elbow raised sexual pose to go with her tone.

"Fuck knows," Yusuke said curtly, not caring if his french-vocabulary was minuscule or not. Louise and virtually all of the wizards with the exception of two looked outright disgusted at Yusuke's utterance of obscenity.

As Louise sharply jabbed her finger at Yusuke as if it was a ruler of unholy punishment, determined to reprimand the rude-man, she was immediately frozen in place by an icy-cold glare from Yusuke's malevolent orbs.

Her mouth went dry, her entire outstretched arm loosened considerably, and her knees buckled underneath her, 'W-What's going on?' Louise asked herself in a nigh-panic, shivering just at the utterly angry cold stare the devilish young man was sending her. In that instance it was like the whole world had not only completely disappeared but had also vanished off of the face of the now dark realm.

…It was just her, her, and those eyes, the eyes of a creature emitting godly malevolence.

It made Louise weak in the knees.

'He can't be a human,' Louise concluded on jelly legs, tentatively hugging herself with her arms, 'There's just no way!'

"Oh, dearie. You're so courageous speaking with such immorality," Kiriche gushed, earning herself a scowl of disgust from the newest object of her affections. The effects only put a slightly more lecherous, yet equally determined smirk on her red-painted lips, "Oh. Playing hard to get are we? I just love it when they play hard to get." She said slyly.

Yusuke snorted. Having not understood even half of what the lustful woman was yelling, he knew enough to know she was a typical fangirl. That or she was a straight-up slut. Oh well.

The attention of the aspiring wizards was drawn away from Louise's apprehensive gestures from Yusuke's mere glance and Kiriche's sexual advancement toward him by a gentle cough to their left.

Pivoting smoothly on his heels, Yusuke found the marginally strongest reiki-signature in this Hogwarts-esque dimension standing to his left in the form of a middle-aged, nearly bald man save for the brown hair that was clung to the back of his head like a half-torn headband. His garments easily made him stick out like a sore thumb, as he wore a long blue trench-coat with a long collar, had a long staff held in his left-clasp, a pair of black pants, black shoes on his feet and a business-bag slung over his shoulder.

"Finish the summoning ritual, Miss Valliere," He sternly commanded, his words too advanced for Yusuke to decipher with his minimum french-vocabulary.

"But Professor Colbert!" Louise cried out in a protesting manner, pleadingly balling her fists up in front of her obvious superior, "Allow me to attempt the Summoning Ritual one last time!" The pink-haired wizard eyes sparkled from the tears of desperation that had leaked just out of her eyes, "Please."

"I cannot allow that." Colbert said earnestly, having his answer all but delivered to the green-clad young man via Louise's crestfallen expression.

"Access denied," Yusuke said robotically, mimicking the noise a computer would make when they prohibit a growing young boy access to an adult-rated site.

Louise managed to send him a meek glance of reluctant anger from the corner of her eyes, before she turned back to Colbert with even more plea in her voice.

"But why?" Louise asked.

"The Summoning Ritual is sacred and effects the mage's entire life," Colbert explained, "Trying a second time would be a blast for me against the ritual itself," He sent a somewhat wary glance over to the young man who hadn't even looked at him, "Whether you like it or not this man has been chosen as your familiar and nothing can change that."

"But Colbert he's,-" Louise squeaked, but quickly shut her mouth and hastily looked back to see Colbert giving her an understanding expression.

"Yes, I'm aware of the man's… issues, let's say," He said with a hint of optimistic awkwardness, but like a bad spell performed horribly wrong it was gone, leaving behind a strictly professional expression, "However, rules are rules. Finish the ritual."

Louise yelped at the insinuation of Colbert's order. Sparing a glance at the emotionless face that felt as if it was mere inches from hers, Louise nervously asked, "With him."

"Yes or I'll be forced to expel you." Colbert said with finality.

His warning caused a shiver of petrified acknowledgement to surge up Louise's spine.

Louise slumped her head downward, wishing she could dig a hole and die in it to get away from the loud obnoxious jeers of her fellow peeps. Swallowing a timid gulp down her throat, the pink-haired wizard straightened her brown wand.

"Okay, Louise. You can do this. He's just a human, a peasant at that," She quietly said, filling up her own arrogance as she reminded herself that she by definition was above some commoner.

…Even if he was super scary.

"Aw, what's wrong Louise? Handsome is _your _familiar," Kiriche taunted with a smirk, instantly triggering the irritation within Louise, "Don't tell me you're scared of giving handsome one little kiss? You are, aren't you? Aw, isn't that adorable? Well, if you're not ready for this stage of intimacy, I would be glad to do the deed for you. It's the least I could do for a fellow mage-in-training. Honestly, it can be considered a delicate procedure. Not something an inexperienced 'zero' can handle."

The last word uttered from Kiriche's mean-spirited speech was the cue on for the laughter and snide comments.

"Yeah! Live up to your expectation zero!"

"You always do!"

"Maybe she's afraid she'll blow him up like she does to her inadequate attempts at spells!"

"Why you-?" Louise shook furiously, lowering her head so the bangs of her glossy pink hair could shadow her eyes. When she rose her head up, a resolute fire could be seen blazing within their compass strongly, "I'll show you I can to do it!"

"Then what are you waiting for?"

"Do it!"

The other students eagerly nodded in agreement to the two nondescript students' challenge.

"Fine!" Louise huffed in contempt before she looked back at the young man who had his eyes closed. Though, as if sensing Louise's eyes on him, he opened them so intensely it made Louise shrink back barely indistinctly enough to be missed, "Why me?" She murmured despairingly.

Still with his hands in his pockets, Yusuke sauntered forward on a one-way destination to a petite pink-haired girl, "Till dunno what the hell's going on fully, but she's definitely the one who brought me here. There's no mistaking her voice even if I can barely understand her. As of right now, she's the only lead I got of returning back to Japan, pronto."

"Oh great. He's making my life easier. What a wonderful familiar," Louise said sarcastically, her weakened knees making it extremely difficult for her to stand up. She naturally faltered slightly in her stance, causing a few snickers to ring out from her fellow students. She couldn't even muster a glare at them with her apprehensive glance caught in the ominous eyes of her would-be partner.

In what seemed like years to the petite-wizard, the man had closed the remaining distance between himself and her in a matter of seconds, eclipsing the sun.

'He's so damn tall! How am I even meant to reach him?!' Louise mused. If she wasn't in such a panicked state right now, she would have known how refreshing the artificially made shade the man inadvertently offered her with his massive built was.

"Your move." Yusuke kept his statement curt as he waited for Louise to start talking. She nodded tentatively, muttered a few choice words with a raised band starting with her name and slowly rose on her tiptoes, puckering out her lips and closing her eyes, 'She's coming on to me?' Yusuke concluded with incredulity, feeling the tiniest of clutches take a hold of his arm.

Being the well-known pervert that he was with a relationship all but ended anyway, Yusuke's next innocent endeavour was predictably easy to make for him. Roughly grabbing Louise's arm, Yusuke would accomplish his next three motions before the girl even had the time to gasp.

Firstly, he wrapped his arm around her rear.

Secondly, he effortlessly pulled her up so she was technically level with his height.

And most prominently, he smacked his lips against Louise's, feeling her gasp into the compass of his mouth. As if sensing its master's anger toward the girl, Yusuke's tongue surged into the entrance of Louise's mouth and easily overpowered her tongue, forcing the girl to moan.

The band of wizards was shocked into silence at how passionate the two were going at it. Even Colbert had literally nothing to say in this scenario.

"Well I, for one, didn't know the zero had it in her," Kiriche said slyly, a sneer forming on her lips, "I almost feel sorry for handsome having to kiss the zero… so," She paused to wrap her arms around herself, shivering lustfully, "-Exotically."

Eventually, the kiss did indeed end, but it wasn't on Louise's terms. Her supposed ally had easily dictated the mooch as if she was nothing more but his mere maid, a commoner one at that.

"You pervert!" Louise pouted with red tinted cheeks.

Surprise flashed across Yusuke' features, his hand still cupping the rear of an exceedingly embarrassed Louise, "Whoa, would you look at that. I can understand you like you're speaking in my native-tongue now," He oddly noticed a mildly sharp substance of some sort trying to penetrate his mind. This also had the unique effect of making his dominant right hand feel slightly warm, but he ignored that and simply absorbed whatever was trying to attack his mind, cooling his hand down in an instant.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Louise asked blankly, trying to theorize why the impudent perverted man said he could only now understand her, "Are you trying to tell me you barely understood our language till now?"

"Yeah. Don't know much french to tell you the truth."

"It must be the runes that link our eternal bond granting you the ability to understand us," Louise theorized in an indoor tone of voice.

"Eh? What the fuck are you talking about baby girl?" Yusuke asked bluntly, his countenance mirroring his peculiar confusion.

"Must I explain everything to you?" Louise asked, the fondling of her ass making her hold onto the hem of her shirt. It was too cute watching the girl still attempt to hold an aura of class around her even when being groped in broad daylight. "And as my familiar, I expect you to behave with morality. In case you're too pigheaded to understand this, it means speaking formally, no profanity, and," She blushed, "-I prohibit you, as my familiar, to touch me ina-."

"No." Yusuke denied, causing the girl held in his strong grasp to moan with a waterfall of tears running from her eyes.

Fortunately for the embarrassed girl, Colbert decided to dismiss the class, though they didn't fly off on their familiars without first tossing a few jeering remarks at the girl who was obviously, in their eyes, the loser of the class. The jibes indicated nastily at Louise could basically be boiled down to one simple misinterpreted observation.

"Your familiar can't fly, haha!"

'Ain't they in for a surprise?' Yusuke mused sarcastically, watching the nigh-bald man walk up to him.

"Pardon me, but may I see the runes on your hand?" Colbert asked politely.

"What runes?" Bewilderment appeared on Yusuke's visage as he flipped up his dominant right hand.

Louise rolled her eyes in a distasteful manner, "The ones on your ha-. Oh." She said, changing her angry tone to one of confusion as she gazed at the virtually blank backhand of the young man. If it wasn't for the one shiny, golden vertical scar-like symbol engraved onto his hand, it would be as blank as a recently cleaned chalk-board. A deep seeded fear sunk inside of Louise, "Uh, What about your other hand?!"

"Hm." Colbert droned on in a contemplative manner, cupping his chin, "Now that's odd. Tell me, did you happen at some point after Miss Valliere finished the Ritual Contract feel an extreme burning sensation on your hand... Uh? I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't know your name sir?"

"No. Why? Yusuke Urameshi," The man bluntly answered all two of Colbert's questions and asked one of his own.

"You-Kay, Youra-messy?" Louise said, utterly failing to repeat Yusuke's name.

Yusuke rolled his eyes at the girl's complete butchering of his name and turned the full-force of his glare on the wizard-teacher, making him shrink back indistinctly, "What's this about old man?"

"I-I'm n-not quite sure Mr Urameshi. I have a theory, but I'm afraid I'll have to undergo some research to confirm it. I would rather not make a thoughtless observation only to prove my incompetence," Colbert explained.

"Meh. It's no problemo. Just call-up the dimensional door that brought me here and I'll be out of your hair," Yusuke said with a toothy grin, eliciting a small yelp from the girl held in his grasp, "Easy peasy, right?"

"No, Mr Urameshi."

"No?"

"You have been summoned by Miss Valliere," Colbert said earnestly, "Once a familiar is summoned the summoning cannot be reversed. Doing so is not only unthinkable but also hazardous to the ritual. I'm sorry, but now that you are summoned you will be stu-."

"Okay, bitch. I'm gonna stop you right there." Yusuke dispassionately interrupted.

"Watch your mouth when you speak to your bet-." Louise tried to scold her partner, only to be mercilessly dropped onto the ground by the one who was supposed to protect her.

"You can just shut your fucking mouth," Yusuke said, striking Louise across her face with a backhand, sending her sprawling across the grassy ground of the clearing.

"Mr Urameshi, please refrain yourself," Colbert ordered, hastily trying to aim his massive staff-like wand at his student's out-of-control, berserk familiar. The overly huge wand wouldn't even get the chance to lock onto the rebel before he disappeared as if he had teleported, shocking the teacher to the core.

He didn't get a chance to process the situation before the back of his shin was kicked in, forcing his entire upper body to bend downward. An incredibly tight grip on his staff-like wand wielding wrist made him instinctively spread out his fingers, causing his staff-esque wand to fall to the grassy ground.

Colbert cried out in agony, feeling his right arm forcibly held above his head, "Mr U-Urameshi, I beg of you. I do not wish for conflict. I only wish for a peaceful solution."

"Then send me back to Japan already," Yusuke said impatiently.

"But I ca-."

Yusuke found himself rolling his eyes for what seemed like the nineteenth time that day, "Spare me the repeated fuckery, bitch." He quipped coldly, "Instead answer me this, motherfucker, what in the hell did you actually expect from me?" Yusuke demanded, "By that I mean as her 'familiar'," He pointed sharply to the downed form of Louise.

"W-Well," Colbert gathered all the moist in his dry throat. "I'll admit your case is highly unusual."

"Meaning?"

"It's a rarity for a human to be summoned as a familiar," Colbert explained, praying his patient and polite approach would make the disgustingly powerful warrior be a lot less forceful on his arm, "But now that you have you will not only be expected to act as your master's guardian, but also as her personal attendant tending to her everyday's needs."

This was all sounding disgustingly familiar to Yusuke's knowledge. One more wrongly answered question would prove his insinuation right.

"Do I get a paycheck?"

"..."

Fear would've weighed down Colbert itself if the wizard-coach was sure Yusuke wouldn't.

"-Well."

"So that's a no," Yusuke finished for him with finality, the silence from Colbert giving him his answer, "So, you expected me to be her slave then." A particularly devilish smile found its way to his visage.

"Um. No, Mr Urameshi I regret to inform you that you have misinterpreted my explain-."

"Shut up," Yusuke curtly commanded. With what could be considered a neighbourly pat on the back Yusuke flattened the elderly wizard with a enough force to rupture the ground, making the man cry out in pain. Feeling absolutely no remorse for his kidnapper, Yusuke ruthlessly pinned the struggling old man with the sole of his foot, forcing him to cough blood out of his mouth.

"Listen up, old man 'cuz this is how it's gonna go down. You're gonna get me the fuck out of this Hogwarts rip off joint pronto, or else you're dead," He chuckled scornfully, "Think of this as a game; you refuse to comply with my command, you die – You fail to accomplish your employed task you die – if you don't pay the extension-fee every month for the next twelve months, you die – and if you even dare to rally the troops to defy me… then." He gave off a deep belly chuckle.

"You don't even want to know. Let's just say I'll kill you faster. Comprende?"

Colbert whimpered as he felt utterly humiliated. It was as if he was a tiny feline creature on the bottom of the food chain being backed into the corner by the King of all feline-creatures. Scared? Sure. But that was an understatement. There wasn't even a word to describe the otherworldly amount of fear Colbert felt in his heart. He could barely breathe with the overbearing malevolence the devilishly rebellious young man was emitting.

It was terrifying.

"I-I only ask that you spare the students of Tristain Academy of Magic. They don't deserve such punishment from your hands, Mr Urameshi," Colbert pleaded.

"No promises," Yusuke said flatly, "If they fuck with me then I'll fuck with 'em. Comprende? Good. Get your ass to work. I want to see you working on a way to get me back home in the next ten minutes, if you fail to comply," He just snorted, crossing his arms with an aura of supremacy hanging over him while also pressing Colbert further into the ground, making him wince, "Think I've made my point clear enough."

"...Y-Yes, Mr Urameshi."


	2. Devil May Rule

**Disclaimer: I don't own YuYu Hakusho or Familiar of Zero - You really think I would name my character Louise something, yadda, yadda, ya etc if I did own Familiar of Zero? Heh. Fuck no. I'm working on getting the rights to both franchises tho. I got a brilliant poker-face so maybe beating Togashi and a member of Yamagushi's family in a game of poker might work. **

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><p>"Can you manage professor?" Louise asked in an uncharacteristic tone of dismay, her tiny arms wrapped securely around the much larger body of her superior. Timidly gazing up into the concentrated frown of the injured veteran, the pink haired wizard could not will away the torrent of glint that washed through her being.<p>

'This is all my fault.' Louise internally realized, shamefully turning her face away from Colbert's before he could cast his judgemental gaze upon her, 'If I hadn't of been so selfish… if I hadn't of been so needy… if I hadn't of let that hussy's petty taunts go to my head then I-.'

"Yes, Miss Valliere. I'm fine. I thank you for your concern." Colbert said impassively, skilfully bottling up his emotions even with every step he took up the pattern-styled staircase. Contrary to any normal society, the inside dimmed hallway of Tristain Academy was lit by torches powered by fire generated via the use of magical power.

The symbolic train representing Louise's internal monologue was forced to a screeching halt by the calm, yet kind reassurance of the one she was assisting up the stairs. The utopic-seeking man slowly turned his head downwards to give Louise a polite, yet pained smile.

Startlingly, Louise twirled her head upwards in the direction of Colbert in surprised concern.

"Class has already been dismissed. Why don't you return to your dorm and recuperate from your own…" The guilt of his own inadequacy to protect his student ate at Colbert's peace-yearning soul, making him hesitate a touch in his suggestion. "..Injuries," He sighed, "I believe it would benefit you greatly."

"Oh, you mean this?" Louise murmured, instinctively trying to look at the spot on the left side of her cute face emitting a surge of pain through Louise whenever her cheek so much as wrinkled. Carefully moving her fingers toward the hideous lump basically growing on her face, Louise bit back a shriek and hastily drew back her hand from her face.

"I-It's fine! You see!" Louise said in forced pride, putting on a smile.

Colbert eyed his student empathetically, the sense of culpability in his system growing so heavy he felt his knees buckle a bit, 'What a grievous wound Mr Urameshi has inflicted on his,-' A flash of the supreme devil himself was disturbingly triggered in Colbert's mind at that instance.

'_And if you even think about calling this bitch my 'master,' so help me god I will_-.'

As if a defence mechanism was kicked in Colbert forced the last remains of his unpleasant encounter with Mr Urameshi in the deepest, darkest ends of his already tormented, hardened mind, not wanting to contemplate what the vengeful man would've done to Louise had Colbert himself referred to her as his master.

The massive bruise on Miss Valliere's face spoke volumes. The known professor would love nothing more but to admit he was excessively exaggerating the scale of vileness of Miss Valliere's discoloured mark. But he knew he couldn't. It was purple with hints of black shaded in the centre. Its size was lofty, with its four spherical edges reaching cringe-worthily close to Louise's earlobe, eye, mouth, and chin. It even had its own pudge as if it was growing a head of its own.

It truly blemished Louise's otherwise flawless, sulky countenance.

"You have a strong-will, Miss Valliere," Colbert complimented gently, "One I readily commend, but you do not, however, have to place all the blame on your shoulders. Allow me to carry that responsibility. It would be a sin for me as your superior not to."

"But it was my fault!" Louise said persistently, looking shamefaced at having spoken back against her superior. Mumbling an apology while gazing at the steps below their feet, Louise went on to explain in a dignified manner befitting of a noble of her status, "How I meant to plead my case regarding the arrival of that… _monster_," She trembled, "-Is that It was caused by my spell. If anything, I adamantly insist I, Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière, be held accountable for my actions."

"That won't be necessary," Colbert insisted firmly, feeling guilty. The last thing the suffering cherry-blossomed haired girl needed was to be scolded for owning up to an event her own actions were responsible for.

"But why?" Louise whined voluminously before sighing softly, "Forgive my impudence but I'm afraid I will have to strongly stand my ground."

"Oh Miss Valliere," Colbert whispered in a sad tone.

Sure, it was quite admirable of the wizard-in-training to bravely insist on facing the consequences of her actions, especially in a world plagued by the horrors of _war - _a subject which symbolized the key sealing away the abhorrence hidden deep inside of the kind-hearted, peace-pursuing man - But that kind of unspeakable burden on the shoulders of a young woman was ludicrous to say the least.

It wasn't right. Countless naive young folk had courageously recounted Louise's honourable speech, but very few actually came out better for it in the end. In fact – the vast majority of them were unprepared for what they had foolhardy pledged their all into, and came out traumatized as a result, most likely because they spoke with their hearts, and not their minds.

"Do you even know what you're signing yourself up for?" Colbert quipped with a stony expression on his visage, merely softening it once he took in Louise's blank expression, "Exclusion." A look of dilated recognition flashed across Louise's features, making Colbert sigh, "The act of attacking one's superior even if done by one's own familiar usually calls for the master's exclusion. In any other case I would have been forced to expel you, Miss Valliere."

"If that is what must be done," Louise murmured with a look of resignation on her bruised face, "Then I accept full punishment. I fear it won't be much but it's at least a start to restoring what little remains of my honour."

"I cannot allow that."

"Eh?" Louise blinked, "B-But I don't understand? You kindly supplied yourself that the master will be held accountable on behalf of its familiar's actions," She said, "Well, I, as it's familiar, will not run away from the consequences deserved for the detestable deeds my familiar's committed!"

"As honourable as that may be Miss Valliere, I cannot hold you responsible for the heinous crimes Mr Urameshi himself has committed," Colbert said earnestly, noticing he and Louise were nearly at the top.

"Forgive my ignorance in the matter, but I can't interpret the meaning behind your decision sir," Louise admitted quietly, yet respectfully, casting a distressed gaze downward, "Why must I be treated to special circumstances? It _was _my spell which led to the arrival of that monster, and, with grace, I fabricated an eternal bond with him. By the rules it decrees that the master must be punished on behalf of its familiar's misconduct."

"Oh Miss Valliere, as admirable as your intentions may be, I fear it only implies Mr Urameshi has no free will of his own," Colbert said, receiving an utterly vacant expression of incomprehension from the girl by his side, "The idea of enslavement was what stimulated Mr Urameshi's act of rebellion in the first place." The bespectacled man shook his nigh-bald head in a solemn manner, "Doing so after having first hand witnessed the unfathomable amount of sheer power Mr Urameshi has in his possession would be suicide!" Colbert divulged with an odd, but not unbalanced mix of equalled rancour and dismay, a bead of sweat rolling down his visage.

Louise fearfully gaped up at her superior, her mouth opened, but nothing but air came out. She was raised to strictly think of familiars as a noble's tools, nothing more, nothing less. What the tool did, the owner did just by association. No tool would ever be held responsible for its own actions. Such a concept was unthinkable.

…Then again a familiar instantly rebelling against its chosen master was unheard of to her knowledge.

She supposed in an annoying sense all this fitted onto her given moniker, the Zero, seamlessly.

Her fellow wizards-in-training were just going to eat this up, especially Kiriche. Louise the infamous zero can't control her familiar. There would be no way out of it. The bruise on her left cheek was proof of her inadequacy as a mage.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot allow you to own up to crimes you haven't committed," Colbert continued more sternly, noticing Louise looking down. He stopped once the duo had reached the second to last step, making Louise halt in her advancement as a result and turn to look inquisitively at him.

"Hopefully now you have a better interpretation behind my reasoning of holding only Mr Urameshi at fault Miss Valliere," Colbert said kindly, putting on a smile.

Looking up at her superior in a hesitating manner, Louise reluctantly nodded her head and turned it on the path ahead, dilating her eyes at a sight that gave her terrified pause and turned the temperature of her already lukewarm blood icy cold.

"Excellent." Colbert said approvingly, disregarding Louise's surprised expression for a moment. "Then we may resume on our course to lor-." Although once Colbert shifted his head to look at the room preoccupied by the headmaster, he also paused. "Can this be?"

A shiver of fear ran up Colbert's spine.

"Oh no," The glasses-faced man whispered, immediately forgetting about his own injuries to surge straight into the office of his lord.

Louise gasped at Colbert's inexplicable recuperation, fighting with gravity to remain her balance lest she fell. Having her arms so abruptly thrown off of a much taller and heavier person had disturbed Louise's balance. Luckily, she regained it by clumsily grabbing onto the railing.

"Wait for me Professor!" Louise yelled with pink-tinted cheeks, taking off in a very short sprint into the office. The second her feet even made it halfway through the doorway of the headmaster's office she backed up with a horrified expression on her face. "No way."

The scene the aspiring wizard bore witness to was a concept she confidently thought she would never even dream of, nightmares and all. Quite frankly, even her nightmares were far less terrifying in comparison to what she did stood trembling at. They were utopic, but this, _this _was truly the devil's playground on an unknown - usually peaceful - territory, Halkeginia.

The only way the pink-haired young woman could describe the unmitigated devastation of the unfortunate office was to frantically explain a tornado had collided into its boundaries. The workroom was encased by spider web-like cracks; splinters of a former book shelf were wedged into the cratered wall on the far left; the windows on the other side of the entrance was simply no more, with the remains falling lifelessly on an immobile body, making it all the more apparent the once proud office was nothing more but a pitiful wreck of its former-self.

"Lord Osmond!" Colbert shouted desperately, galloping over to the stationary form of an elderly man, bypassing all the splinters and fluff that decorated the destroyed room.

"Headmaster!" Louise quickly followed suit.

"Please tell me if you can speak my lord," Colbert pleaded, kneeling down to take the white-haired elder's head behind his arm. Once he would tilt Osmond's head back, he and Louise would gasp, completely petrified at the state the highly respected veteran was in.

Even regarding the blood that stained Osmond's hair, his damaged cheekbones were by far the worst injury he had on his person. It looked as if Osmond had his face ensnared by a snake's otherworldly clutches, though one could distinctly tell a person had gripped Osmond's face with so much extortion they had _literally _engraved a hand print across his face.

Four finger-marks were on the left side of Osmond's face, a thumb-print was printed on his nose, and a massive palm-copy of an obvious heavy-handed person was smudged on Osmond's right cheekbone.

"Headmaster," Louise sobbed silently, tears streaming down her face which she turned away from the disfigured old man, her wounded conscious disabling her to stare at Osmond any longer.

"Lord Osmond," Colbert whispered sympathetically, gently rocking the elder in his arms, a method to not only keep from aggravating Osmond's already grievous wounds, but also to see if he was conscious. When the bespectacled man felt movement in his arms, his eyes dilated and he gasped in relief, "Lord Osmond, please. You must tell me who put you in this condition."

Of course Colbert had an idea _who_ exactly was responsible for mercilessly brutalizing the renowned wizard, he simply wanted to get confirmation before he begun pointing fingers.

The white-robed, equally as white-haired man slowly opened his eyes, earning himself a timorous hopeful look from the distraught Louise, "I-It w-was," He barely managed to stammer in a painstaking fashion, shakily raising his hand.

Colbert predicted what Osmond was going to do, and saved him the effort by taking his wrinkled hand in his, "Please. You may save your strength if you find it too arduous to speak my lord," He insisted while Louise worriedly clasped her hands together.

Osmond repeatedly opened and closed his eyes, trying to remove the tunnel vision out of them in doing so, "Y-Your concern is touching," He complimented, audibly breathing in and out in a futile attempt to recuperate himself, "However such compassion is a non-compulsory redundancy," He hacked up blood violently.

"Lord Osmond/Headmaster," Colbert and Louise cried out simultaneously, the latter dropping onto her knees to rest a delicate hand on the injured headmaster's chest.

"Please do not feel you have to overtax yourself for our sakes," Louise begged in a quiet, sad tone, "Especially after what you've been forced to endure." An image of a devilish smirk flashed in Louise's mind, making Louise crinkle up her face in bitterness, 'I'm sure it was _him, _that, that, that monster! Has he no honour?'

"Miss Valliere," Osmond said softly, mustering up a smile at the bruised-faced young woman by his side. When the pink-haired wizard turned to him with a worried look, he took a moment to sneakily admire her delicate visage. Oh. If her body was just a bit more mature he certainly wouldn't mind groping her.

Now wasn't the time for that however.

"It pleases me to see you have survived your own concurrence relatively unharmed my dear," Osmond said approvingly, feeling sorry that Louise's otherwise adorable countenance was blemished by the heinous wound on her face.

"Y-Yes, I did," Louise hesitated, feeling she had no right to complain about a minor mark on her face when two of her superiors had arguably received the shorter end of the stick.

"My lord, do you happen by any chance remember the one who carried out this despicable exploit?" Colbert probed lightly, watching Osmond carefully remove his eyes from Louise's distinct guilty countenance to monitor the cracked ceiling above his head, his deep, but slow breathing still very much audible.

"Yes, I do," Osmond intoned in an empty voice omitting his usual jest and happiness, "Actually, it's something I would gladly surrender all of my treasures and valuables to forget ever happened," Louise took in a sharp, audible breath of air, covering her mouth with her tiny hands, believing it was worse than she thought.

Colbert nodded, feeling his lord shake in his arms with a terrified expression on his white moustached and bearded face. When he would again open his mouth to speak he would do so in a spooked, ghostly manner befitting of the colour of his hair, "I am, however, ill-fated to remember his name, his unspeakable malevolence, and most of all the transcendent strength he carries," Louise shivered.

Colbert felt his blood run cold and his arms began to tremble.

"Y-You may proceed if you are willing my lord."

Osmond nodded slowly, his terribly bruised-face frozen in a horrified expression.

"He referred to himself as…"

**Chapter Two of the Walking Terminator of Hell**

Devil

May

Rule

"…Yusuke Urameshi... the devil who will take ascendancy over Tristan Academy of Magic."

XxX

(Elsewhere – Location Unknown – With Yusuke)

Yusuke coincidently shot up in full on alert mode.

"Who the fuck's there?" He commanded with an ill-tempered expression on his face.

Picking up no distinct energy signatures other than his own massive one in the darkened room he currently resided in, Yusuke nonchalantly shook his head, "Musta been my imagination," He mumbled sleepily, too tired to care about talking probably, "Either that or someone's talkin' about me. Meh. Whatever floats the boat is fine by me."

Throwing his head back onto the pillow on the king-sized bed that would be his for the remainder of his stay in this world, Yusuke heaved a heavy sigh of barely suppressed irritation, "Tch. Who did those motherfuckers think they were really?" He asked, spreading out his arms and legs to resemble a star, "Don't know how they figured me or anyone above C-class would just conveniently be content to accept being forced into slavery."

As far as Yusuke was concerned, that was the textbook definition of a familiar. Their quote-on-quote "master" apparently didn't have to pay a fee to their "Familiars," yet still had full authority to tell them what to do? Now if that wasn't the fundamental definition of slavery, then Yusuke didn't know what was.

One thing he knew for certain was that he wasn't just going to passively accept his situation lying down, especially when his mother could be worried sick about her son's random-ass disappearance.

Despite his comfortable room of spectacular opulence he had obtained with pure force and an underlying threat he wouldn't be afraid to carry out if necessary, Yusuke just couldn't relax. Even thinking about that luscious green-haired broad that had shown him to his temporarily rent-free room couldn't lull Yusuke's mind.

Every time he shut his eyes he pictured his mother, mourning his strange disappearance, along with the rest of his friends, even Hiei to an extent showed his own distinct despondency to the fact that he would never see his friend again.

With an angry snarl, Yusuke hastily sat up on his massive bed fit for a _god_, (or _devil_ would be the more plausible description for himself), swinging his legs off of the side and onto the floor with his bad-tempered expression not diminishing as he shifted his head around the darkened room.

_Goddamn. _It was _so _boring. The futuristic-like young man was starting to believe with each passing second he lingered in this ancient world that it was more Hogwarts-esque than it appeared to be, and that wasn't just because it basically had a Dumbledore of its own as its (temporarily relieved) head honcho.

Electronics that existed in his world were utterly scarce in the Hogwarts-esque world, consequently ensuing the omission of TVs, which was an annoyance of Yusuke all on its own. In his previous location when he had been bored, he could always depend on a good, kickass Kung-Fu film to pass the time. But here? Those privileges were revoked just by association with the omitted electronics.

The missing electronics really blown for Yusuke since beside his desire to assure his mother and friends of his safety, the urge to jump up and slam on his Nintendo 64 was bugging him like no one's business.

Just pondering what he was going to do for entertainment made him even more worried than he already was. Truth be told, Yusuke wasn't exactly sure how long he could stay in this world without being driven to the edge of insanity from sheer boredom. He hadn't even spent an entire day in this dimension and already he was bored out of his skull.

Just needing something to do, Yusuke ended up scouting the area for his requested meal, relieved to find it virtually outside his door in the arms of a person with a microscopic reiki-signature.

"Finally, some grub," Yusuke said, shooting up to his feet.

Like the green-haired lady had demonstrated for him earlier on Yusuke clapped his hands, triggering the candles to light up his extravagant room, "Handy," Yusuke commented with a wry fanged-smirk on his face, ambling over to the wall-crafted door.

Gripping the handle, Yusuke easily swung the door open, not at all surprised to find a beautiful black haired young woman dressed in a maid outfit standing with an extended hand and a surprised expression on her adorable face. Alright. The beautiful maid part of this scenario surprised him. The tray containing his meal, however, didn't.

"That mine?" Yusuke eagerly asked with a hungry gaze at the tray in her hands.

"Uh," The maid hesitated, nodding slowly, "Hmm-mmm."

"Jackpot." Yusuke said whimsically, smoothly relieving her of the tray in her hands, ignoring her blankly blinking face.

Moving over to the brown desk opposite to his king-sized bed where a distinguishable black book laid, Yusuke placed the tray atop it, slotting himself underneath the desk whilst rubbing his hands, "Oh boy, they really know how to treat a guest around this joint huh?" He joked, eyeing his lobster-course dish with a gleeful gleam in his eye. He even had a classy bottle of wine next to his dish.

Score.

The black-haired maid giggled at his antics, catching his sincere attention of interest. Though she misinterpreted his inquisitive expression and ended up offering him an apologetic expression, "Oh, I'm sorry," She said in a sweet-tempered tone, "It's just that you looked so innocently amusing I couldn't help but laugh. I really hope I haven't offended you, sir."

"Meh. Think nothing of it lady," Yusuke said with a grin and a rub underneath his nostrils using his index finger, somewhat pleased to discover not _all _residents in this Hogwarts-esque dimension carried with them a pompous aura. He _could _be wrong about Louise though. She at the very least had a distinct shy-demeanour that was buried amidst the pile of condescension that seemingly dominated her personality.

"Siesta," She clarified with a graceful smile that almost melted Yusuke's heart.

'Damn,' Yusuke reflected with an admiring gaze. Taking a moment to allow his eyes to thoroughly drink in every last detail of the beautiful young lady, Yusuke was undeniably impressed, from her short crop of black hair that fell to her shoulders, to her cc-cup breasts, and lastly, her soft blue eyes.

She was quite the woman to admire.

Deciding lovestruck mode was over, (the) Tristain Academy's newest and strongest warrior came out of his stupor, "Name's Urameshi," Yusuke _almost _surprised himself at how professionally neutral he sounded in his introduction to Siesta despite basically ogling her like a rabid fanboy, "Yusuke Urameshi," He still stayed legitimately calm even when emulating James Bond.

"That's a… interesting name," Siesta heedfully admitted with a wary expression. After all, she would like to stay on the good side of the man who Miss Longueville referred to as someone to be treated with the utmost respect.

"Heh, I've heard," Yusuke said with some gaiety, positioning himself on his wooden chair in a way where he could face Siesta but still face his meal, "Seeing as I ain't from around this dimensional dwelling I suppose it's only natural anyone from here would find my name strange. Hell, pinkie couldn't even pronounce it without making a damned fool out of herself."

"Oh, you're not from around here?" Siesta said, processing the implications of Yusuke's casual admittance, "I take it you were summoned by Miss Valliere. Correct?"

"…Yeah. _Her,_" Yusuke clarified with a deep, low baleful growl, eliciting a small yelp from Siesta who took a precautionary step back away from the young man possessing vindictive-tendencies. Seeing that he had unwittingly frightened the young maid, Yusuke cooled his expression, offering Siesta a half-hearted comedic explanation, "Louise of the overly long-ass name summoned me to repress her and the rest of the stuck-up douchebags of "nobility"."

As Siesta was in the process of giggling at Yusuke's quip, she stopped without warning, taking in Yusuke's half-hearted smirk as factual evidence that he meant what he said and was proud of it, "Oh, you're serious?"

"Yep," Yusuke confirmed with a swipe of his nose using his thumb, "It sounds funny 'cuz it is. The nobles are all about to receive a taste of their own medicine," He placed his arm on the back of his chair, emanating an offend aura, "They're about to reap the consequences of their actions, summoning a pissed off combatant worth his salt who _won't _put up with their shit."

Siesta stared, her mouth open slightly in agape. Never in her life had she met a simple commoner not of this world as audaciously visionary as Mr Yusuke. To be honest, it sort of filled Siesta up with the slightest bits of hope that a super-powered commoner had risen to stand up for the little guys like her and her step-father.

Unfortunately, she had lived too long under the rule of nobility to believe such a foolhardy dream would ever come true.

"That's very nice, Mr Yusuke," Siesta softly complimented with a rueful smile, "I believe it's nice for us to have hopes and dreams, but you really shouldn't say such things out loud so impulsively."

Yusuke calmly dismissed Siesta's warning with a wave of his hand, "Ptff, yeah right. Who's gonna stop me? I've already systematically dealt with the chief-wizard of this place without even breaking a sweat. As far as I'm concerned that gives me free rights to do whatever I want." _  
><em>

Siesta's eyes dilated with a multitude of shock and incredulity, yet for moments on end she neither dared to refute Yusuke's claim nor applaud him for it. She just stood, standing with a blank expression on her face just outside of the doorway leading to Yusuke's bedroom, hoping above all else that the "starry-eyed" young man would reveal his claim as some cruel joke to install false hope in her.

"Heh, I get it. Take it just anyone defeating the wizard sachem around here must sound like an incredibly farfetched story, enit?" Yusuke questioned with a wry fanged smirk.

"No, Mr Yusuke," Yusuke frowned at the young woman's blunt refusal, watching her adamantly shake her head, "I would really appreciate it if you didn't take me for a fool," Wiggling a mildly chiding index finger, Siesta deepened Yusuke's frown, "It's all fun and games to declare you're going to rule the academy, but it's another matter entirely to make serious allegations like that," Siesta looked down with her hands clasped above her waist. "As nice as the prospect is of a fellow commoner overthrowing lord Osmond to set some semblance of balance between commoners and nobles, I'm fully aware how unlikely such an utopian scenario is," She sounded genuinely woeful having shot down such a idealistic possibility for both sides to live in peace.

That was just the way she was, a sad realist rather than a buoyant idealist.

"I would be grateful if you would jus-."

"Siesta," The would-be ruler interrupted the maid's request, his voice both razor-sharp and perfectly controlled despite the suppressed dark irritation evident underneath his calmness.

Startlingly shooting her head up with a default apologetic expression at the ready, Siesta's plans and expression were erased clear, "Mr Yusuke?" She asked blankly, wondering how on earth could the man just up and disappear before she could even lift up her head, "Where di-?"

"I would very much _appreciate _it if you didn't take me for a liar," Yusuke's voice resumed his previous unfinished suggestion inches close to Siesta seamlessly, making the maid gasp breathlessly, and quickly whirl around to see him standing in a composed manner right behind her, almost as if he had been there the whole time.

'…How?' Was the only coherent question that raced frantically around the softly gaping Siesta's mind.

Yusuke breathed through his nostrils with some degrees of understanding on his countenance, "I recognize because of our unfamiliarity, you're hesitation to take my claim seriously. Alright, that's okay; never asked you to blindly hop on the Yusuke-bandwagon anyway. Feel free to regard my intentions with suspicion, but for the love of god, _don't _tell me I'm play-acting like a little brat because that shit just pisses me off. Comprende?"

Siesta glanced at Yusuke vacant of anything resembling an active response of comprehension on her captivating face. When she had instinctively twirled around at the sound of his voice she half expected him to cast a judgemental gaze of intimidation upon her, setting her on edge to be scolded outright for doubting him. This act of merciful understanding was certainly not what Siesta had been expecting, but to be frank, she welcomed it.

"Well?" Yusuke asked somewhat expectantly, snapping the teen out of her stupor.

"Oh?" Pleasantly blinking her eyes, a smile slowly formed on her face, "I'm sorry if I had offended you, Mr Yusuke."

"Meh. Don't worry about it," Yusuke said with a grin, though quickly decided to rethink his decision when an ingenious idea struck him like thunder, "Wait, on second thought, there is _something _you could do for me to make up for your impudence toward me," His grin morphed to one of a mischievous nature. "Would you do me a favour, honey?"

Being the helpful maid that she was, Siesta was all for being of a assistance to a fellow commoner, though she did blush at the moniker he gave her, "No, not at all," She insisted shyly, "What is it that you need of me?"

Yusuke's grin dilated until it was basically splitting his face off, "You can help me finish my grub," Covering up her gasping mouth with both her hands, Siesta realized with a glance into Yusuke's room that she had kept from his meal with their engaging conversation, "That okay with you?"

Nodding feverishly, Siesta brought her hand up to her chest. "Yes, of course! It's the least I could do for keeping you from your meal."

"Amen." Yusuke agreed, watching Siesta rotate around before maidenly ambling into his room, unwittingly giving him a perfect view of her jiggling rear-end, "Think I know what I want for dessert to," Closing the small distance between himself and Siesta, Yusuke's hand shot out and clasped one of a gasping Siesta's butt-cheeks, excessively enjoying the feel of her jelly cushy rear, "Nice."

"I-I take it you find my body to your liking Mr Yusuke?" Siesta playfully stuttered with red-tinted cheeks.

"Fuck yeah I do," Yusuke grinned, once again spanking Siesta, eliciting a small giggle from the young woman. Casually back-heeling his door shut, Yusuke took Siesta's smooth, delicate hand in his, leading her over to his desk.

"Oh. There's only one seat." Siesta said with innocent acknowledgement, searching for another one, "I don't see another one."

"Ah, what a shame," Yusuke said with mock-disappointment, struggling to hold in his chuckles, "We'll just have to improvise then, won't we?" Planting his backside on his chair, Yusuke patted his lap invitingly, "Sit right here baby-cakes."

"Are you sure that's wise Mr Yusuke?" Siesta asked indistinctly, cupping her warm rosy-coloured cheeks with her hands. Gently swaying her curvy hips from side to side in a rhythmic manner, Siesta smiled in an exceptionally sheepish manner at Yusuke who eyed her with amusement, "I mean, I might be too heav-."

Before Siesta could finish her timid suggestion she would find her slim waist ensnared by two powerful hands, "GET, your fine ass over here…" Yusuke jestingly started, pausing dramatically to lift a gasping Siesta up and onto his lap, "Right now, gal." Chuckling cheekily at the flushed girl who had her hands on her chest Yusuke tenderly stroked Siesta's right cheek with the back of his right hand, sending a tingle of pleasure through her, "See. Now that wasn't so difficult was it?"

Waggishly shaking her head, Siesta offered Yusuke a closed eyed smile of serenity, never noticing how she took his breath away with her beauty, "No, not at all," Taking the silence as her cue to start helping, Siesta reached over for the silver spoon near Yusuke's plate, noticing the black book near his tray, "Oh, what's this?" Flipping the book over, Siesta found a written language on it that she could not for the life of her decipher, "Eh? What is this language Mr Yusuke? I can't understand it."

"Ehhh. Pay no heed to that little thingamajig baby. Just be thankful you're not in it." Yusuke chuckled at his book that he had creatively titled "Yusuke's bitches," 'Till gotta get the signatures of a certain cherry-blossomed haired bitch and a cue-ball headed motherfucker, but I can do that tomorrow,' Gently hugging Siesta's waist, Yusuke pulled her closer to his body, 'After all, I've got nothing but time.'

…Ohhhh. At least now, he wasn't bored out of his skull.

XxX

(Elsewhere)

XxX

A couple of violet shiny horror-filled eyes open wide followed by a head of long glistening pink hair leaving the cushy comfort of a pillow to hang in the air, "W-What?" Trying to catch her breath with her damaged cheek now bandaged up, Louise attempted to discern this sudden bad omen that had awoken her up from her already hellish slumber.

"Why do I keep feeling as if death itself is counting down the remaining time I have left to live?" The light-pink gown-clad bubblegum-haired wizard asked herself, pulling her knees up to her chest. From her point-of-view, all her furniture and candles disappeared in a heartbeat, leaving her eerily floating in a void of purple.

She buried her head into her knees, wishing that Professor Colbert and Lord Osmond hadn't dismissed her after Miss Longueville had patched her up. Wincing at the intimidating shadow eclipsing her tiny body, Louise couldn't help but ask herself the simple question anyone in her position might ask themselves.

"Why must I suffer?"

* * *

><p><span>Yusuke's Bitches<span>

**Louise of the overly long-ass name.**

**Dumbledore 2.0**

**Cueball **

**More to come**

* * *

><p><strong>Question of the day, why is it in the majority of freakin' Harem series the characters are a bunch of pricks? (Looking at you Rumiko, you bitch!) Seriously, it's beyond ridiculous. It just seems like an exceedingly lazy way to write "comedy," make your characters as absurdly stupid and immoral as possible. *I smh in disgust*. Tho, that ironically makes for a myriad of fanfiction because there's just SO much character development. Know what I'm saying? <strong>


	3. Payday

**Disclaimer: I don't own YuYu Hakusho or Familiar of Zero. **

**I do make a pretty decent dish of Spaghetti Bolognese if I say so myself, hehe. All I gotta do is invite Togashi and a representative of J.C staff over to my yard, and treat them to the best damned Spaghetti Bolognese they've ever tasted. They'll love it so much they'll be like, "Oh, man, Thugs. What did you put in this? We'll give you anything you want so long as you hand us the recipe."**

**And I'll just take off my glasses, slick back my hair, (reminiscent of a certain mastermind) before stating smoothly, "**Just as planned**." **

* * *

><p>As the light reflected off of Yusuke's face the young ruler slowly opened his eyes, not for the first time cursing a radiating sun light beaming brightly through a pair of red curtains. Fortunately, his mind had another, infinitely more pleasant thought to focus on, and that was the lovely black haired beauty resting on his chest.<p>

Seeing the sleeping Siesta cuddled on his chest, Yusuke couldn't suppress the smirk that spread across his face.

'Lady luck must _really _like singing my tune. Haha,' Yusuke puckishly reflected with a small chuckle, tucking an arm behind his head, 'Tho I can hardly complain. Got myself a sweet little honey right here,' Yusuke worked his other hand down Siesta's back, gently groping her butt cheeks, 'Love it when good stuff happens to _bad _people.'

He allowed a moment of quiet tranquillity to linger, his eyes locked to his ceiling and his hand glued to the black-haired beauty's rear, moving around in a slow rhythmic fashion as if he was trying to mould it into a wonderfully exquisite scripture.

Usually, when something happens, differing from one's routine pattern, such as that gorgeous girl he was molesting in her sleep beginning to stir, the good thing he had going comes to a screeching end.

…Now, had Yusuke been like the typical everyday generic shounen jump main character, (and he had seen a bundle of them in his own world) he just might have decided he'd had enough of his fix.

He wasn't like that though so he kept on groping Siesta's bottom, even when the maid opened her blurry eyes to look at him, blushing lightly when she registered the feeling of him playing with her rear-end.

"Morning sweet cheeks," Yusuke greeted with a grin.

Humming in acknowledgement, Siesta snuggled her head on Yusuke's muscular chest, shyly twiddling her right thumb near her mouth, "Why, good morning to you too, Mr Yusuke," She mumbled with a smile, "Thank you for allowing me to stay the night. I had a really fun time with you last night."

"Oh, I didn't," The man she happened to be using as a pillow that was both hard yet strangely comforting said with a sneaky grin, making her look up at him, "Trust me, baby-girl. You haven't been treated to nothing yet compared to the mind-boggling pleasure I can give you. Interested?"

For a moment, Siesta stared up at Yusuke in a stupor, her mind totally elsewhere. The scenery was exquisitely phenomenal, consisting of a mesmerizing glowing pink backdrop complemented by clear-view floating bubbles, but the lush, comforting green grass underneath her feet assured her she would not be bothered in her leering observation of the magnificently handsome young man standing before her with the strangest, yet cutest fanged smile on his face.

Siesta just thanked the gods dream-Yusuke wasn't wearing a shirt. Those enormous packs of his were enough to make her melt.

"Heh. Looks like she drifted off into a daydream of me," Yusuke grinned sheepishly, using his free index finger to rub the space underneath his nose, "Guess I'm more proficient at this than I thought I was. Meh. No skin off of my bones; it can only benefit me in the long haul," Yusuke concluded, deciding now was the time to wake Siesta up, "Hello, honey. You till with me or what?"

Giving the young woman a small shake, Yusuke was both pleased and amused to find her indeed snapping out of her daydream with a puzzled expression on her face, "Eh?"

Yusuke chuckled with a cheeky grin of a mischievous monkey, "Take your time."

Closing her eyes with a pleasant smile, Siesta clarified, "I'm sorry. I meant to say that would be wonderful and I look forward to your treats, Mr Yusuke."

Yusuke winked down at her, "I kind of expected you would see things my way, honey."

Nodding gently, Siesta very reluctantly pushed herself upwards, off of Yusuke's chest, and her slow motion to do so portrayed this very well, "I must be going now."

"For real?" Yusuke asked curiously, shooting up off of his pillow to ensnare Siesta's wrist in his arms, trying to coax her into staying with him a little longer, "C'mon, a few more measly minutes can't hurt anybody, right? Surely, you wouldn't leave an unfortunate foreigner in an unknown land all on his lonesome with just his unfamiliarity as his only company, would you?"

Siesta shuddered lecherously, softly biting down on her bottom lip to suppress the moan to a mumble, "I-I'm a-afraid s-so, Mr Yusuke," She smiled shakily, though flushed deeply when Yusuke snuggled his head into her shoulder, "I have to get back to work now."

Knowing the kind of "occupation" familiars had – one that came without a damned pay-check – Yusuke was undoubtedly curious if Siesta's job was authentic, even if she wasn't a familiar, "Hey," He called out to her, his absolute serious tone of voice void of the witticism and puckishness that had filled it moments ago made Siesta blink blankly in his direction, "Do you get a pay-check?"

"Uh." Hesitating for a few seconds, Siesta nodded slowly, "Mmm-mmm. Yes, I do."

Relief washed through the young man's being, "Nice to know one of us does," He mumbled acerbically, "I was expected to clean up and run errands for pinkie of the overly long-ass name as her personal "servant" till one of us kicks the bucket, so I assume. All I can say to that expectancy is that they can tell it to my ass because it's the only one who gives a shit."

"Oh my," Siesta gasped at Yusuke's aggressive colourful language.

"I'm gonna show 'em tho. See how they like it being back-pedalled into a corner," Yusuke explained with a smirk, "Stick around for the show, baby, because you're not gonna want to miss it, I can assure you of that."

Not wanting to openly make her doubts known after Yusuke had reprimanded her about such only yesterday, Siesta offered up a smile his way, "If you say so, Mr Yusuke," She said sweetly, beginning to close the distance between their faces, "Then I will be there with you," Her lips were so close to his cheek Yusuke could practically feel her warm, gentle breathe on his face

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Yusuke murmured, closing his eyes in relaxation when Siesta's lips met his face, sending a surge of tickles through his being and a wave of pleasure once Siesta moaned. When Siesta pull away, Yusuke urges took over, resulting in him wheeling in a surprised Siesta's face toward his own, capturing her lips against his.

She moaned into his mouth, permitting entrance to his tongue which it gratefully took, engaging Siesta's in a playful dance. Unlike the last girl he had smooched in this world, his tongue didn't bully Siesta's into subjugation like it had done to Louise's. It gently stroked hers, as opposed to the way it had bossed Louise's around out of spite, giving the shy maid ample time to ease into the intimate activity.

Her eyes closed, her hands moved up timidly to rest on Yusuke's solid pecks, and she opened the space between their mouths for a moment's breather before readily closing it again, somewhat greedily taking in the man's warm breathe inside in her mouth as if it was an inhaler, "Mmm!" Siesta moaned in pleasure.

When the need for air became far too needy, the two broke away, with Siesta immediately inhaling and exhaling deeply to recuperate.

"My bad," Yusuke playfully apologized, earning himself a flushed inquisitive expression from the out of breath young woman, "I just couldn't resist going for the kill," He had the decency to scratch the side of his cheek with his index finger, looking sheepish after using such a lame quip. He could do better than that. Couldn't he?

Damn. Maybe he wasn't as good at this as he originally thought he was.

Much to his relief, Siesta shook her head, "No, you don't have to apologize. I-I quite enjoyed… it," She said, using Yusuke's knee and bedside as leverage to stand on shaky legs, receiving a look of concern from the man who stiffened with ready hands, "I-I-I… look forward to mo-Ah." The rest of her speech was finished off by a scream as the maid lost her balance.

"Whoa, careful," Yusuke suggested mischievously, standing up, snatching Siesta's waist in his arms, and straightening her up all in one smooth, effortless motion, "Those first few steps after a smooch like the one we had tend to be a doozy."

"Y-Yes, I should've allowed my knees time to recuperate before trying to stand," Siesta confessed with a sheepish smile, "Thank you for catching me."

Yusuke chuckled, "Don't mention it, baby," He kindly cupped Siesta's cheek, satisfied to feel her melting into his palm with closed eyes. Not wanting a repeat of her previous clumsy error, Yusuke heedfully began to release Siesta from his comforting hold, giving her enough warning to hold onto something else so she didn't fall over.

Siesta chose the wall, watching shyly whilst Yusuke ambled over to his desk to collect his dinner tray.

"Need help carrying this down?" Yusuke asked.

"No, you don't have to go through the trouble," Siesta said benevolently, taking Yusuke's tray off of his hands, "I believe I can manage just fine."

"Cool," Yusuke said with a shrug, watching Siesta neatly slip her feet into her shoes, showing her nigh-flawless balance when her knees wasn't weakened by lust.

Leading the maid over to his door, Yusuke's next course of action could be interpreted as him being chivalrous toward a beautiful young lady, holding the open door to her, to which he would humbly deny. He had just the proper courtesy to pull the door open for someone who would've found an endeavour mildly difficult with both her/his hands full.

He would've done it for anyone regardless of their gender.

Nodding appreciatively, Siesta stepped through the door, before whirling around to face him with a kind smile, "Thank you for the wonderful evening. I truly had a splendid time with you. I hope we can do this again sometime in the near future."

Leaning casually up against the door-frame, Yusuke crossed his arms over his chest, "How about tonight?" A predator glint appeared in his left eye socket when Siesta's own orbs lit-up brightly.

"Oh! Tonight would be preferable!" Siesta hurried to agree so quick Yusuke just had to snicker. It was even more amusing when Siesta immediately quietened, trying to make it look like she wasn't craving it by insisting it could be postponed, "However, if you find you can't find time in your busy schedule, then I understand… o-our d-d-d."

"It's okay," Yusuke spared the young woman the trouble with his assurance, "Tonight will be fine. It just so happens I run my own schedule. My duties get taken care of on my watch, when it's convenient for me, no one else's," Siesta nodded gratefully at that piece of clarification.

"R-Right. So what time would be beneficial for you? Honestly, any time favourable for me as long as I can spend it with you."

"Same time as last night?"

"That would be most proficient Mr Yusuke."

"Sweet. I'll see ya back here then."

"Yes, you really will," Closing the distance between them, Siesta reached up on her tip-toes, pecking Yusuke on the cheek, "I'll make sure of it."

"Atta girl," Yusuke smiled, patiently waiting until Siesta showed him her back before clasping her butt-cheeks, jiggling the second cushiest body part of Siesta (her breasts being her first), "Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talking about."

"I really hope my body and I can continue to be of service to you in the near future and beyond."

"That you will," Yusuke grinned, leaning back against his door-frame with a conflict of feelings swirling around in the pit of his stomach as Siesta dawdled purposely away from him, her rear swaying mesmerizingly in place, "…Damn. I hate to watch her go, but I _love _to watch her leave."

Yusuke laughed.

Okay - that particular reference had been a personal favourite of his ever since using it when he and Keiko parted ways to head to their own individual classes in school. Making references of model-day culture had been something of a staple of his character, a tribute to his infatuation for TV. Although that love had dwindled significantly over the years when he had discovered, from Kurama, that reading was just better for his brain, he still enjoyed making the odd reference here and there.

Sauntering back into his room, Yusuke's eyes fell on a peculiar object from afar, a devilish smirk developing across his face.

"That's right. It's time I get me my money!"

XxX

The Walking Terminator of Hell

**Payday!**

Chapter Three

XxX

The first highly unfortunate chump to be labelled as his bitch wasn't at all difficult to find, but then again tracking anyone who didn't possess the handy ability to suppress his/her reiki-signature was a ridiculously easy feat for Yusuke to accomplish.

Judging by his timid posture and what he was carrying in his hands, Yusuke would guess he was in a rush to locate him so he should give him what he had come to collect anyway, so without further ado, Yusuke just rolled up to him, gripped his shoulder, and casually greeted, "Yo, Cue-ball," as if he wasn't planning on extorting him.

He pleased to feel Colbert's body trembling from the shoulder blade he currently had in his hand, but felt especially delighted to see the nigh-bald headed man's face as pale as a ghost when he turned to his face his new master, a sack-bag hanging in his grip, "A-Ah, m-master Urameshi, what a pleasant surprise it is to see you out and about. I must yield that I had not prophesied this gathering to take place right here in the midst of Tristain Academy, but I sincerely hope you find it to your liking, sir."

"Meh. So and so," Yusuke vaguely explained with a shrug to keep Colbert on edge, "But I'm not here to preoccupy much of your time, just to get two teensy weensy stuff off of you, then I'll let you be on your way. You've ultimately got work you need to be doing yourself, you know?" He said, purposely downplaying the significance of Colbert's signature and money to extend his existence.

"Of course, master," Colbert said with the utmost respect. With a sweeping bow of his head that made a light shine off of his head, Colbert raised the sack bag up, "I believe you will find everything of significant value in here."

"Just a minute," Yusuke said, swinging a business bag he had taken from Osmond's former office from behind himself to the front of his pelvis to reach into its confines.

Colbert straightened, timidly cuddling the money-bag up to his chest, "If it's not too much to ask sir, but what are you searching for?"

"This," Yusuke explained, though sheepishly corrected himself when he whipped out three items, "Well, this, this, and this," A black notebook, a feather, and an ink jar. Balancing the ink jar and bird feather on the notebook, Yusuke took the bag from Colbert's hands before clarifying, "Now, I'll take that and look it over, while you place your signature in this little book. Comprende?"

Colbert nodded his acceptance despite finding Yusuke's odd speech mechanisms bizarre, "Understood," Gesturing for Colbert to take the book and the necessities, Colbert awkwardly did just that, "Should I just…"

"Yes. Floor," Yusuke nonchalantly confirmed, eliciting an obedient sigh from Colbert. Whilst Colbert sat in seiza on the floor, Yusuke opened the bag to give way for a gold shine, dipping his hand in there which caused a jingling sound to echo through the vacant hallway, "Hm. Not bad, feels pretty lofty."

"The amount of gold coins equates to fifteen hundred, master. Five hundred each should cover the four of us, which includes myself, lord Osmond, Miss Longueville, and Miss Valliere sir," Colbert explained, glancing at the book with an scrutinizing eye, 'I can't for the life of me discern the origins of the language Mr Urameshi's wrote on this book.'

'Never actually planned on milking that broad to begin with,' Yusuke mused, his expert poker-face brilliantly keeping his inquisitive thoughts shrouded in darkness, "Just get your name in that book Cue-ball."

Colbert flinched from Yusuke's stern command, "Y-Yes, master," Unscrewing the jar, Colbert removed the lid so he could neatly dip the end of the feather into its contents, carefully flinging some of the excess ink off of the tip before opening the book up, discovering the same undecipherable writing on the inside. The only writing he could safely make out was Osmond's signature next to the odd lettering on top of the others centred in the middle.

"Where should I place my signature master?" Colbert asked carefully.

"In the middle underneath the old man's," Yusuke said plainly, instantly hearing the sweet resonance of scribbling on paper, "If you can't read, know it says 'Cue-ball,' your given moniker. The old man's is Dumbledore two point O."

"Dumbledore?"

"It's a character from a collection of novels coincidently based on wizardry that comes from my world. Your old man just happens to bear a disturbing resemblance to him in appearance, so I'm calling him that."

"Oh. I-I s-s-see; v-very generous of you indeed," Colbert stuttered, trying to be as sincere as inhumanly possible with Urameshi's ice cold, gravely serious gaze locked on him. He was notably relieved to had finished his task, standing up to his feet to pass the book back to Urameshi, "I have accomplished my endeavour, Mr Urameshi."

Yusuke hummed, taking the book from Colbert's hands, "If this is a fake…"

"I can assure you my signature is as authentic as the sky," Colbert said with all the courtesy he could muster, dropping down to collect the feather and the jar of ink still on the ground.

"Good. For your sake, I sincerely hope it is, otherwise the consequences you will have to face for double-crossing me will be unforgiving," He echoed with a hollow, dark tone to his voice, eliciting a quiver from Colbert, "And trust me, I have my ways of figuring out if this is authentic or not." The most predominant method being that he could just ask Siesta whether it was a signature or just fancy scribble.

"I d-don't d-doubt your abilities," Colbert gulped.

With an approving nod, Urameshi settled Colbert's nerves momentarily, stashing away his book and the sack bag full of gold coins in his business bag before doing the same to the jar of ink and the feather, "Sorted."

"U-U-h. If I may ask another question master, I would be most grateful," Colbert hesitated.

"Oh? What's that?"

"I had just been contemplating the likelihood of Miss Valliere being pardoned of the charges of continuance every month," Colbert requested, trembling at the close range view of Urameshi's bland, blank stare, "As she is only a young woman not much younger than yourself, if my hypothesis proves accurate. In my humble opinion it would be vastly discriminatory to place such a burden on her shoulders, would it not?" Colbert bowed.

A period of silence lingered with Colbert holding himself in a shaky, bowed position.

Then it happened. Urameshi laughed. It started with a snort, and then gradually became small titters that quickly morphed into merciless sniggers that had Colbert sweating rain bullets. Eventually, Urameshi threw his head back and billowed up a chortling storm.

"No," Colbert whispered.

When Yusuke's laughter died down he placed the palm of his hand on his face as if it was a mask in amusement, managing to look seriously demented, "You fool," He said, backhanding Colbert across his cheek, sending him head-first into a wall.

"Oaf!"

A piece of the wall and Colbert's glasses and head, near his temple, were busted open from the force of the blow, "U-Urames-." He was unable to say anymore with the clutch of a mighty godlike Godzilla now around his throat, pressing him against the wall.

"That's _lord _Urameshi to you," Yusuke said, adding more pressure to his grip, making Colbert gag for breath, "Or master works fine to," He added with a casual tone, letting Colbert fall to the ground, "Now that you've been interpolated into my book of bitches, you will not only be expected to answer to my every beck and call, but also pay the extension fee to extend your life. If you or anyone else in the bitch book fails to meet the requirements, then I will be _booking _you a first-class ticket to the motherfucking resurrection. If you think anyone - pinkie included - incorporated in the book of shame gets a free pass, then you better think again. _No one _gets off scot free."

With his hand on his throat, Colbert took in deep breaths to regenerate his air-circulation, "But Mr Uram-."

Mr-, no,_ Lord_ Urameshi's glare almost burned Colbert to incineration, "Eh? What was that? Did I just hear you defying me?" Yusuke asked, mockingly cupping his ear.

Colbert shuddered, "N-no, lord Urameshi."

Yusuke's arms fell to his sides with a fanged grin on his visage.

"That's better. Now you can continue."

Colbert swallowed a clear and an audible batch of saliva down his throat, "I-I-I-I had only requested Miss Valliere be pardoned of the charges of continuation due to her less than sufficient financial income."

Oh. Well when put like that Colbert's request made a lot of sense. Besides being fed by the beautiful Siesta, Yusuke had also been given some information involving the lifestyle in Halkeginia, including what currency they use, what amount would be considered huge and small, and how he would go about washing his clothes.

That gave him an idea. If five hundred gold coins was too much for Louise then Yusuke knew exactly what she could do to compensate.

"Don't you worry your shiny little head about that," Yusuke said lackadaisically, twirling around to take off, "I have other methods pinkie can do to compensate for her lack of dough. She's not getting off the bitch book. Once on there, you stay, no exceptions," Only once he would amble off would the muteness linger, drowning Colbert in the endless depths of despondency.

"I was afraid you would say such… lord Urameshi."

XxX

(Elsewhere – Louise's room)

A rapid succession of dull thumps loud enough to stir Louise from her unpleasant slumber echoed out through her room.

"Eh?" Gently fluttering her eyes, actually thankful for the noise that had awoken her, Louise sat up straight, "I-Is… it morning already?" She mumbled sleepily, rubbing her left eye socket with the back of her hand.

Next to her bed was a small clock that had Roman numerals. Only once her blurry eyes landed on this peculiar clock did they actually come alive with exceptional debrief, "What the hell! It's that time already? I'm going to be late!" Hopping up from her bed, Louise scampered over to her cupboard.

A slightly louder combination of blunt thuds was carried from her door.

"Ugh! Would you give me a moment? Unlike you, some of us actually have lives!"

If possible, her snappy, self-important suggestion only annoyed the person at the door, somewhat being made evident by a double combination of the same trio of plain knocks, ringing through her room with twice the force.

"Just a minute!" Louise screamed, pulling her red-faced head out of her closest with her trademark second-year black-coloured cloak and white dress shirt hanging in her grasp.

The next six knocks off of her door could practically equal the noise a drum makes.

"Must you be a buffoon by not heeding my recommendation?"

Her answer came in waves of obnoxiously loud, deafening bangs of what the pink-haired wizard could only assume was a hammer smashing aggressively against a frying pan. Her feelings went well beyond annoyance at this point. She was abnormally livid. Who that did impudent brute think he was? Here she was, trying to get ready for her class, which she was already running late to, (lest she forget), and he had the gall to try and knock off her door?

How dare he?

Didn't he learn any manners from his superiors?

Ugh!

"Alright! I've had just about all I can tolerate of this insolent behaviour, you jerk!" Louise screeched with finality, stomping over to her front door, holding her uniform underneath her arm, "What exactly is your deal anyway?"

Even when she was right next to the door, the noise didn't lessen. It just increased, thundering across her room with every belligerent bang that connected with her door.

"Ugh!" The high volume of Louise's furious grunt almost matched the intensity of the booms coming from her door. Inhaling deeply, Louise gripped her door handle, throwing her door aside with a face ignited by fury, "Enough! That is enough! What kind of uncivil fellow are you to knock with such aggressive insensitivity on a lad-. Oh?" Like a broken light bulb, Louise's pent-up rage vaporized in the form of misty stream at the sight that greeted her.

Nothing.

…Absolutely nothing.

"How strange," Louise pondered, sticking out her head out of her room to look down both ends of the corridor, searching for any signs of the perpetrator, "I could've sworn a graceless pig was knocking impatiently on my door." When she saw a fist mark embedded into her door, confirmation of the offence, she felt her irritation rise, "Ah! Look at what the wrongdoer's done! Ugh! Why would anyone do such a thing? It's so dishonourable!"

Shutting the door with a sigh escaping her lips, Louise's creamy, light complexion would lose all colour once she would whirl around to walk back to her bed to get change. She even instinctively pressed herself up against her closed door to better emanate her trepidation.

"Howdy," The object of the pink-haired girl's fears greeted her, mockingly giving her a two-fingered salute, "How's it hanging?"

"I-It's… y-you," Louise recognized with a disturbingly tiny, squeaky voice, clattering her teeth.

"In the flesh," Yusuke quipped with his right leg folded over the other.

Louise opened her mouth, but closed it just as quickly, earning herself a look of cruel amusement from the man sitting upon her bed as if he had been there the whole time. She twirled her head hastily to the side so she wouldn't have to gaze upon the man's patronizing stare.

"W-What a-are y-you d-doing… here?" Louise stammered, feeling the air rushing to her head, "S-Sir."

"Oh I just decided I would come visit my _favourite _little half-pint in this whole world," Yusuke evenly lied, eliciting a flinch from Louise who clenched her eyes shut, "What, is that so wrong?"

"N-No!" Louise hurried, "I-It's j-just I w-wasn't e-expected to see you is all… sir!"

Yusuke eyed the girl with a teasing glint, "Heh. You're just lucky that justification is comprehensible, otherwise I might not have been so lenient as to let you off of the hook," He pinned her with a particularly strong, roguish gaze of his right eye, "...This time."

Louise nodded rapidly, "U-Uh. T-Thank… you."

"Come."

"Eh?"

"Did I stutter, motherfucker?" Louise flinched at Yusuke's remark of obscenity, clearly not used to such vague language, "Get over here. Now."

Wincing from the man's firm command, Louise submissively acquiesced to his order, keeping her gaze on her tip-toes while trying to accomplish her employed task and her arms held gracefully below her waist.

"Good girl," Yusuke complimented as if he was talking to a dog.

Louise almost shrank back a couple of steps from being spoken down to, but her fear kept her glued to the spot, 'Whoever heard of a familiar speaking down to his master?' She reflected with sadness evident in her eyes, 'I guess I really have lived up to my name Louse the zero; once a zero, always a zero.'

"Here." Yusuke's gruff voice made her timidly bring her head up to see the man holding a feather, an ink jar, and a book out to her, "Take it."

"What's this?" Louise murmured with a questionable tone, doing as told. It helped with the carrying part that the feather and ink jar were balanced upon the book.

Yusuke gestured toward Louise's desk, "Jog your signature in it."

Nodding obediently, Louise walked over to her desk, "Okay, but you still haven't told me what it is, though." She clarified, tucking herself into her desk. Turning the book over, a puzzled expression appeared on Louise's face, "Eh? What is this gibberish? I can't make it out."

"It's Japanese, the language of my homeland," Yusuke explained with a pointed scowl, "You know, the homeland _you _dragged me from? Remember that little girl?"

"How do you even expect me to believe such a-." A tremendous surge of pain rocked through Louise from her head, making her clamp her hands over her mop of pink hair, "Ow! What did you do that for?" She whined, surprised how Yusuke covered the distance so quickly, 'How did he even get to me so fast in the first place?'

"You goofus, where the fuck do you think I came from?" Yusuke asked, giving Louise a flat look, "Did you think you conjured me up from some faraway spiritual plane of all creation with your own power?" He snorted, crossing his arms while Louise looked away from him, "Leave the humour to someone else and get your signature of your stupid-ass, excessively long name in that damned book. You're my bitch from here on out."

Blenching from the blunt name of profanity given to her by her supposed master, Louise ignored the strange unreadable writing on the cover in favour of slowly turning the book to the first page with an trembling finger, noticing the same foreign language she could not read, "I-Is t-that a-anyway t-to speak to a lady? She asked, not courageous enough to look at Yusuke in his eyes as she removed the lid from the ink jar to moist the tip of the feather, "I-I don't understand h-how c-could a-anyone treat a lady so inappropriately."

"And I _don't _understand how anyone could misinterpret the point behind the bitch book," Yusuke retorted acerbically, causing Louise to flinch before he pointed to where she must place her signature on the first page, "A goofball's current gender has no influence on whether or not they get a place in my shit list. They become candidates if they simply warrant my wrath. Don't know about you, but a pink-haired half-pint pretentious brat who brings me from my home and my life, then has the audacity to refuse to believe I ever had one deserves every single flame of my fiery rage that I can muster."

"B-But, b-but, b-but, I-I-I," Louise tried to persist before giving up with a heavy whimper, completing her signature. She felt as if she was signing her life away, "Oh, fine! What are the conditions of being placed in this… err, _prestigious _book? Can you at least… Uh, I mean to ask, will you please inform me of the potential wishes that must be met?"

"Humph. Smart girl."

"…Thank you."

"For starters, seeing as I'm your undisputed ruler, you _will _refer to me in a manner befitting of my status."

"Y-Yes, milord."

"The predominant requirement you will be expected to meet is the fee you have to pay to lengthen your measly existence."

"What?! I must pay for the right to live?!"

"You heard right."

"But that's absurd."

"Tough. Deal with it."

"What is this travesty!?"

"Cry me a river, kid."

"*Inhales* Alright. How much must I pay, milord?"

"Five hundred gold coins."

"W-What? B-But I can't afford that much!"

"Aw, what a shame. You'll just have to do something else for me to compensate for your lack of funds, won't you? For instance, I could really do with a steward to wash my clothes. Know where I can find one?" Yusuke asked flatly, making Louise moan in resignation.

"But nobility aren't supposed to even dress themselves much less wash their own clothes."

"Really now? Anything else you would like to inform me of, sweetie?"

Louise flinched, knowing she needed to learn when to keep her mouth shut.

"N-No."

"Good. Of course that alone won't cover the mandatory extension fee, so I'll have to give you other chores to do to work that off, capeesh? Nod if you understand."

A tiny, demure nod of the head came from Louise.

"Aces. Now, get yourself geared up, I need you to show me to the library."

"B-But I must attend class!"

The consequential silence that reigned supreme over her room could've suffocated Louse in that very moment.

"Quick question."

"Y-Yes, milord?"

"Why're you talking like you have a choice?"

* * *

><p><strong>Interesting thought I had. Some readers rightly accuse me of making Naruto "too dense" in my Naruto-centric fics, barring the ghetto-based Naruto in the Bleach-verse. Honestly, that's perfectly understandable. Only Naruto's authentic author can nail his intellect precisely after all. Maybe I should just write him the way I do my Yusukes? I don't know. What do you honestly think anyway?<strong>

**What kind of Familiar of Zero/Naruto crossover fic would you like to read? One where Naruto's a nice ruler with average intellect or one where Naruto's a no-bullshit, decisively dominant and smart king?**


	4. Deity Kong

**Disclaimer: I don't own YuYu Hakusho or Familiar of Zero **

**I just realized something. I'm Thugs Bunny! I have the awesome trolling godly abilities of the legendary Bugs Bunny. I can just rewrite the script to make it so I own YuYu Hakusho and Familiar of Zero. It all makes sense now! Not even the forth wall can withstand the force of my trolling of omniscience.**

**And then...**

**...I would most likely butcher both franchises. **

***Nervous chuckle.* Uh... sorry. **

* * *

><p>"A-And so, that appears to be the gist of our dilemma." The bandaged-faced Osmond weakly said in an uncharacteristic grave tone, resting his head against the soft cushy pillow of the elevated uncomfortable bed of the infirmary.<p>

Osmond tended to really hate hospitals, since beside the bland, nondescript favoured meals they forced fed him their mattresses always seem to give him a back ache. Really, the only positive aspect the ancient mage could point out about hospitals was the pretty young female nurses/doctors, but even that was a moot point because he couldn't get up to enjoy their luscious bodies for himself. They wouldn't even hand him his wand until his body fully recuperated.

Oh fiddle sticks. Apparently, having a body exposed to the wondrous of magical power also had the added bonus of speeding up a mage's natural regeneration process beyond its regular time vastly contrary to the time it would have taken for them to heal had they been a normal civilian human.

Oh, he could just give himself two massive cheerful applauses of his hands if it didn't ache his body to even lift up his pinkie finger. He still wished for a wand, though. How he pined for the female nurses' ravishing limbs, but still the buxom Miss Longueville would still indubitably be his main guilty pleasure. He had ultimately spent the most time with his stunning secretary.

Speaking of his secretary, she was standing directly by his bedside now as he mused, brilliantly hiding her emotions - like her possible anger, her possible anxiety - all behind an expertly placed mask of stoicism on her bespectacled face.

Such a strong woman to admire indeed!

"I feel so helpless," Colbert murmured with a distinct tone of resignation and a bandage on his previously busted open temple.

Having his entire upper body as well as his face most notably bandaged around an indiscernible sore body, Osmond could fully sympathize with Colbert's lamentation. In all actuality, the only objective Osmond could accomplish at this very moment in time was slightly lifting his arms, and even that caused him excruciating pain, "Yes," Osmond agreed regretfully, "Indubitably speaking, we do find ourselves in a perilous position," He sighed in despondency totally at odds with his normally happy character, "I concede it causes me a substantial quantum of torment at the knowledge I possess of being forced to compensate each and every month for the continuance of my very existence."

An uncomfortable silence engulfed the ward, with each individual lost in their own grave thoughts of downhearted contemplation. The implications of staying under this man's rule was enough to send two mad, and maybe even the last one depending on the circumstances not going her way.

Colbert clenched his fists, gritting his teeth as his visage twisted in sad agony, "I do wish there was something we could do," Something he could do right now, that was. Colbert didn't know how long the endeavour would take of finding out an method to return that brute to his land and to put it bluntly, Colbert wasn't sure if he could last three months much less twelve under Mr… lord Urameshi's thumb.

"That reminds me."

Osmond automatically perked up, even only on a minuscule level, at the resonance of Miss Longueville's heavenly voice of imperturbability. She really was a breath-taking woman of exquisite beauty, possessing long flowing medium green hair tied in a ponytail, a dark lavender scarf of magnificent artistry, a long-sleeved navy blue waist-high jacket with a distinct white zip, a matching skirt which came up to her knees, and brown boots on her feet.

Ah. What an excellent choice of attire for a fine lady indeed!

…Now if only Osmond could turn his head to observe her fully for himself.

"Yes, Miss Longueville. What is concerning you my dear?" Osmond cheerfully asked with a romantic gaze in his eyes.

Being far used to Osmond's tendency to gaze at her longingly, Miss Longueville merely proceeded to voice her thoughts in a manner of bored nonchalance, "I was wondering what you planned to do about Miss Valliere."

Instantly, Osmond sobered up, "Hm."

"If this was in any means a different contingency I would have been forced to expel her," Colbert admitted solemnly, getting a curious expression in return from lord Osmond's green-haired secretary, "But sadly as it stands there will be no instantaneous eventualities," The nigh bald-headed man shook his head, "Lord Urameshi has made it abundantly clear that he doesn't see Miss Valliere as his master."

Miss Longueville's eyes dilated, her hypothesize all but being confirmed by the smile of tranquillity Colbert gave her, "I believe the implication is all the evidence Miss Valliere needs to prove her innocence in the matter," The pacifist said.

She gasped, "You're going to pardon Miss Valliere of Mr Urameshi's crimes on a technicality?"

"Yes," Colbert confirmed with a sobered expression, placing his finger on his chin, "I'm not quite sure how he accomplished such a feat, but lord Urameshi was able to negate the runes before the ancient writing could wholly inscribe on his right hand. You would have to inspect closely to even be able to discern that the runes had even attempted to mark his hand. I did, but all I found was one vertical scar of the only lettering of the runes that had actually managed to imprint on his hand."

"Incredible." Miss Longueville said in an awed whisper, lurching her body back to forge shock. In all her time here she never thought it was possible that a familiar of any kind would wield enough willpower to be able to repel an utterly fool-proof spell of absolute subservience.

It was quite inspiring if she said so herself.

"Indeed," Osmond agreed in reluctance. "That's why I not only agree with Professor Colbert's judgement but commend it too. The poor dear already has enough to cope with as it is," Solely being responsible for bringing that hoodlum into their world among others, "Thus I feel it would just add further unnecessary emotional baggage to her already oodles of insecurities if she were to be charged with the code of misconduct."

A period of silence lingered, but it wasn't a tense one aroused by worry, it was one of sympathy for an unlucky soul who was cursed with total inadequacy. With a mere glance shared between their eyes, the three silently agreed to pretend the vindictive inter-dimensional warrior had inadvertently fallen into their world by some strange phenomena.

"So, should I inform the students of the one now in the ascendancy over the academy, lord Osmond?" Colbert asked, worried the students may provoke lord Urameshi's wrath if not warned outright of the man's new position.

"No, that won't be necessary," Osmond said with an unnerving calm.

"Eh. No?" Only the awkward bead of sweat rolling down from his cheek kept his face from being vacant of any emotion, "I cannot perceive the meaning behind your vague guarantee, my lord. Surely, for the sake of the students, you must agree it would be in their best interest if they were to know of lord Urameshi's predominance so they can be aware of the lethal consequences that will befall them if they are to anger him!" Colbert strongly insisted with dogged desperation, getting an inquisitive look from Miss Longueville.

'He's being awfully pushy,' Miss Longueville mused.

Despite Colbert's assertive insistence to take the realist approach of ensuring the safety of the future generations of Tristain Academy, Osmond gravely resigned expression didn't waver, "Well, yes, the youngsters' presumption natures could be problematic in the long haul," Even when he seemingly agreed with Colbert to unwittingly install false hope in him, he face didn't change.

Somehow, that hope was dashed in the bin when Osmond's expression brightened, "Nevertheless, I vehemently believe we will have the Urameshi-boy returned to whence he came from within three months, no more!"

Colbert stared in a total stupor, opening his mouth but failing to find the words to describe Osmond's starry-eyed objective. As Osmond's secretary and Colbert's fellow mage-colleague, Miss Longueville supplied blandly, "I believe lord Osmond wants to avoid needlessly terrifying the students with such a revelation."

Osmond smiled approvingly at his secretary, "Precisely, dear."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this," Colbert murmured.

"Uh." It was at that point a female nurse tentatively poked her head in between Colbert and Miss Longueville, earning herself a love heart eyed expression from the patient, "I don't mean to intrude, but I'm afraid visiting hours are now over. You will have to take your leave."

"Oh. Please pardon the delay. I had not meant for this discussion to extend to such a lengthy period. My apologies," Colbert said with a bow, "My departure will be imminent I can assure you."

The nurse gave them a clear nervous smile, "Thank you." And with a simple utterance of application she disappeared around the corner once again.

Patiently watching the nurse leave before turning to end the controversy between him and his technically former lord, Colbert couldn't suppress the twinge of resentment he felt toward the goofy, light hearted elder. Osmond, as if sensing Colbert's jaundice in the matter, spoke up in a reassuring tone, "Now I know it's difficult for you to come to terms with my decision, but I can assure you I have put forth into it the utmost thought. It is what would be best for the children."

Sighing in a resigned manner, Colbert turned on his heel to make his way out of the infirmary, but not before leaving Osmond and Miss Longueville with such a mighty determined and worrying statement that it made the hairs on the back of their necks stand on end, "You may feel free to issue such an order, sir, but know this, I won't stand idly by and watch the children be mercilessly picked apart by lord Urameshi because of their ignorance. I'll protect them no matter what!"

Another period of silence would linger in place; one neither Osmond nor Miss Longueville felt comfortable to dispel until Colbert had clearly left the premises.

"Are you sure that was wise?" Miss Longueville asked.

Osmond nodded in an ungrudging manner, happily ignoring the pain an endeavour triggered in his injured body, "Oh indubitably, my dear! Unnecessarily frightening the children would be a really cruel thing, would it not? I, for instance, wholeheartedly believe it would be. Miss Valliere was an unfortunate victim of Mr-. Amen. Excuse me," Osmond requested patiently, "I meant to say, Lord Urameshi's wrath. Yes. Not every child deserves a similar prejudiced vengeance.

Studying Osmond with a bland expression that betrayed none of her true thoughts, Miss Longueville made it appear as if she had acquiesced his choice, "If that is what you truly believe is best for the academy, Osmond, then I support you as your "former" secretary. Former secretary or not it's still my responsibility to make sure you hold the academy in the highest regard, since "Lord Yusuke's" reign would appear to only be temporary."

"And a fine job you're doing at that my dear," Osmond cheerfully applauded, "Now, just before you go, I would very much like to discuss a personal matter of great importance with you."

Miss Longueville regarded Osmond's request with a bored, expectant expression, "Being?"

"What colour panties do you have on?"

Pivoting coolly on her heels, Miss Longueville made her way toward the door, "Please stop asking me inappropriate questions."

"Who, me?" Osmond asked with a cheery, silly smile, wackily cheering to exude a senile demeanour, "Oh, woot, woot, woot, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho," Now if only he could use his hands he would make the hissing snake signs repeatedly, because that would really make him look mad.

"And please stop acting senile every time you get caught doing something you're not supposed to, it's unbefitting." While Osmond playfully moaned, Miss Longueville sauntered out of Osmond's ward. Once the green-haired secretary stepped out of Osmond's view, her calm, professional expression melted away, giving way to a smirk.

'Soon now, I'll have what's rightfully mine.'

XxX

The Walking Terminator of Hell

**Deity Kong**

Chapter Four

XxX

After Louise had shown her lord to the library, he had dismissed her, something she was most grateful for, most noted by the speed she used to scurry away from the young ruler.

Seeing the pink-haired wizard be given her matching orders triggered a twinge of envy within the librarian, who, going by her fearful expression the moment Yusuke had swaggered into her territory, had heard of his transgression by the other staff, or Miss Longueville herself most likely.

Unfortunately for her, her day of luck was not to be.

When her new king had discovered his reading comprehension in their world was essentially at third grade level at best, he had all but demanded she sit down and teach him their language proficiently. Needless to say, she did not have the backbone necessary to defy him. They'd been going over the basics all morning, and it actually surprised the librarian that her lord was quite the quick learner.

For Yusuke though, it wasn't that he wanted to stay in this world, it was just that, god forbid, Cue-ball happened to fail in his mission of finding a method of returning to his home in the next twelve months, then he didn't want to be the only ruler in history who couldn't read past the fucking third grade level.

After he'd had enough of learning, he rolled down to the cafeteria, mildly intrigued to see the striking resemblance it shared to the Hogwarts-one in the chosen one series.

It was interesting to note he had received a lot of pointed glares from the wizard-children, either because they thought a familiar shouldn't be in there or because he kept on eating even when they were all praying. Either way, Yusuke really didn't care. A bunch of harmless glares from a myriad of pitiful weaklings who wouldn't even make D-class where he came from were of no consequence to him.

Now, he found himself out in a wide clearing. He surmised this time of relaxation was like their recess, in a sense. They weren't running around playing games or brooding on the rooftop like he himself had done on his breaks, (and even during classes), but they seemed to be having a good time sat around circular white tables, drinking tea, and eating cakes a distinct maid happened to be passing out to them.

His face lit up and his eyes twinkled naughtily at the very person with a Spanish-oriented name he had sought out this panic-like clearance in the first place for.

'Bullseye, lock and target,' Yusuke mused whimsically, using his masterful ninja skills to stealthily sneak up on an unsuspecting Siesta, who was in the midst of collecting a slice of cake for a student. With his breathing and steps both inaudible, Yusuke was behind the dazzling maid, leaving her none the wiser, 'Heh. That foxy, blond-haired jumpsuit-wearing, country-busting kid ain't got shit on me.'

He took a moment to admire her rear and curved figure that both swayed in her little unidentifiable dance, finding himself further engrossed in his observation of the young woman's jaunty tune before he captured her slim wrist in his bear-like arms, making her jump, "Hey, babes," He greeted smoothly, noticing the slice of cake had fallen from the plate during Siesta's jump, "Got it." Removing one hand from her waist Yusuke effortlessly caught the slice before it could drop to the ground, propping it back in place.

"Oh, Mr Yusuke; you frightened me." Siesta said with pleasant surprise.

Yusuke grinned waggishly, "My bad."

Siesta shook her head, her short black hair inadvertently brushing against Yusuke's sturdy chest, "No, it's exceedingly tolerable. I-I actually found your innocent joke rather funny," She whispered, melting into Yusuke's touch, "Oh! And before I forget, thank you for catching the cake I'm meant to serve."

"No probs," Yusuke languidly brushed off the compliment before he prodded, "In any case, who's it for?"

"Oh! Well, as you already know, I have the honour to be of service to nobility, it's for someone of the status," Siesta informed with pleasant sarcasm that was not lost on Yusuke, seeing as he was known for a similar kind of tone himself on a daily basis.

"Yeah, it's an amazing honour," Yusuke chuckled, eliciting a giggle from Siesta.

"Also, I," Sobering up, a light blush in the form of twin circles appeared on both of her cheeks, "I-I should offer you my apologies," As if sensing Yusuke's confusion she went on to clarify, "I only just obtained the knowledge of your victory over lord Osmond, so I'm sorry for not trusting your words earlier. I hope you can find it within yourself to forgive me."

"Oh, that," Yusuke said with calm acknowledgement, "Forget about it. We only just met you know. Meaning we haven't exactly had any time to form any semblance of special trust between us. Your scepticism was understandable. Don't beat yourself up over it. Okay, honey?"

"Oh, okay. I just felt I should've offered you my apologies for my insensitivity."

"Well then don't."

"I won't. You know, you really are a fair man Mr Yusuke."

"Heh. I've heard that one before," Namely from his ancestral father's ever loyal henchmen. He missed those guys.

"I'm not surprised," Siesta admitted.

"Hey! Are you going to bring me my cake?"

Yusuke twirled his head over his shoulder at the sound of a snobby, impatient demand distinctly directed in his and Siesta's direction, spotting a handsome blond-haired young man sitting across from an attractive blond-haired girl.

Thanks to the deep, masculine voice heard moments ago, and the way the blond-haired teen was faced in their direction it was ridiculously easy to tell who had called out to Siesta so snottily. His wavy blond hair extended down to his shoulders, his eyes were blue like an American back in Yusuke's own world, and his regal, long-sleeved dress shirt was open by a few buttons, showing off his well-toned chest.

Additionally, he had on a pair of purple pants, white shoes, and like just about every student in the clearing he too wore a black cape over his shoulders.

"I think he's calling out to me." Siesta mumbled, wiggling out of Yusuke's grip.

"How's about you take five and don't stress yourself," Yusuke advised, sweeping the plate from a confused Siesta's grip, "I've got this."

Siesta blinked, "Are you sure?"

"Yes. Kick back and relax for a change. Leave this one to me," Yusuke insisted, taking his first few strides to the blond-duo with his grin getting progressively darker with every step, 'Heh-heh-heh. It was about time I pull the sticks from the asses of these brats and put them in their places anyway.'

"You know, I spent the entire night conversing with Verdante here." The blond male said, affectionately stroking the mole on his lap, making it snuggle its head on his knees.

"Really?" The girl said with a dry smile. Her hair was styled in the form of multiple long braids that cascaded down to her back. Her garments more or less mirrored her male's companion with the differences being that she wore a skirt that reached her knees, over black leggings, a red ribbon bow keeping her hair in check and black heels fitted on her feet as opposed to his shoes.

"Oh yes, those intelligent eyes, the sensuous texture of her scales, I just knew we were destined to be!" The blond male preached, presenting a rose in a flourish.

"Yeah, well. Keep it buried when you're with me. Okay?" The blond teen girl asked, turning away from the speech giving young man in contempt while he sighed in content.

"One order of cake hot on the rocks," A quip of a sly voice caught the blonde duo's ears, making them turn curiously to find a recognizable young man standing to the blond-haired young man's left with a plate held in a right handed grip.

"Hey, isn't that Louise's familiar?" The blonde girl identified.

"Ah. You mean my little bitch pinkie eh?" Yusuke asked with a smile, earning himself a bizarre look from the blond braided haired young woman before she nodded slowly, "That's her alright."

The blonde young man gained a sly smirk of his own, "Isn't it just like the zero to conjure up such a foul-mouthed familiar? So very unlike my own loyal Verdante," He rubbed his head against the mole's, not noticing his female counterpart roll her eyes.

"Meh. She summoned me," Yusuke proposed with an air of self-assurance hanging over him, "And that's gotta count for something."

"Please. You speak as if summoning a mere commoner is something to brag about," The blond countered with noticeable disdain.

'Heh. You just make this all too easy, squirt,' Yusuke thought with devilish amusement, "Heh. It turns into a privilege when that person not too high on the financial ladder turns out to be me, kiddo. Now, are you gonna take this cake or what? I get better stuff to preoccupy my time than to spend it with a spoiled, wet-behind-the-ears novice like you."

"Eh?" The blond young woman blinked, 'Where did that come from?'

"That's my line... poor boy," The blond young man said with a scowl, "I understand you're Louise the zero's familiar, but I must retaliate and say I will not stand for intolerable ill-mannered behaviour by one such as yourself. You ought to learn your place." He was further infuriated when a heavy palm landed on his mop of blond hair, ruffling it condescendingly.

"Aw, so cute. The little squirt thinks he's tough," Yusuke said with mock sweetness, "Listen kid, your show of bravado's inspirational to snobs everywhere, but my league's a tad above yours," He stated, insulting the blond young man with a perfectly well-spoken compliment while also downplaying the massive difference in their power-levels.

'I-I don't understand. What is he talking about? Doesn't he know that Guiche is a noble? By all rights, he's well above him,' The blond-haired young woman contemplated, but came up blank.

Meanwhile, the now known Guiche was seething with rage. Never in his life had he met someone with the impudence of this lowly commoner, "You have gone one step over the line commoner," He said seriously, placing his mole down to stand up to his feet with his rose gripped, "I may tolerate improper behaviour in my leisured time, but I will not allow a brute to speak exceptionally vile lies in the presence of a lady."

Throwing his head back, Yusuke laughed loudly, drawing more than just Guiche's and his lady friend's confused expressions, "Hahahahahaha! You're one smooth operator, as if I didn't already know that. You just keep on getting more adorable by the minute, tyke," Throwing the plate with the cake on it over his shoulder, Yusuke waggled his finger jokingly in Guiche's direction before jabbing his hands into his pockets.

A bead of sweat rolled down the blank visage of the blond-haired young woman, "Eh, what?"

"Your lack of comprehension is rightly justified my dear Montmorency," Guiche said, using his defence of Montmorency's confusion as his chance to swoon her, "Clearly, this poorly mannered commoner has no respect for his superiors, henceforth he shall be dealt with accordingly."

"Gee. Ain't that an interesting concept?" Yusuke asked with his patented dry sarcasm leaking out of his tone, mockingly looking over the clearance, "I don't see any superhero with their underwear on the outside here squirt."

"I have grown wary of your nonsense, commoner," Guiche said with a disdainful gaze in his eyes, holding his rose up to his chin with emphasis, "That's why, I, Guiche de Gramont, challenge you to a duel in a matter of honour," He paled when his eyes caught a glimpse of a brown bundle in the distance, something Yusuke didn't fail to pick up on.

"My ass knows more about honour than you, kid," Yusuke snickered, finding sadistic delight in the panicked look that had inexplicably fallen on Guiche's features, "Oh, and here's the kicker, I'm not even about that shit." That was Kuwabara's shtick which he respected, it just wasn't for him.

"Oh, wow. Guiche is going to fight Louise's familiar."

"Eh? Is he mad? Guiche is a noble. He'll kill him."

"Hey, aren't duels between nobles forbidden?"

"Duels against students are, but there's nothing in the rule book that says a noble can't fight a commoner."

"Whoa. What a technicality!"

"I know, right? I almost feel sorry for Louise the zero, she's about to lose her familiar after only one day."

"Once a zero, always a zero."

'Heh. The one-tracked mind of adolescence sure tickles the old funny bone,' Yusuke mused. Sure, he probably wasn't too much older than them since he was only twenty, but their mental-states clearly hadn't developed past their kindergarten days if they wrote off a commoner without even knowing his power or abilities.

"Say, Louise's familiar sure has spunk to take on Guiche. I find myself becoming more invested in him with every courageous gesture he shows," The buxom, red-haired Kiriche said next to a small blue-haired young woman, crossing her arms underneath her bountiful chest, "What's your take on the battle Tabitha? Hey, aren't you going to watch the duel?"

"I already know the results. It won't be Guiche standing victorious," The blue-haired Tabitha mumbled stoically, never lifting her head from the book, "Just watch."

"Err, okay?" Kiriche said blankly, though it didn't take long for a similar teasing expression to appear on her visage with her arms crossed underneath her huge bosom, "You do have a tendency to be aware of the outcome beforehand, hon."

"B-But I just realized I can't do battle with you just yet. I'm afraid we will have to hold it to a later time, perhaps two o'clock in the courtyard," Guiche said, hoping to make a quick gateway, attempting to do so by motoring to a puzzled Montmorency and easing her up to her feet with all the chivalry he could muster, "Come on Montmorency-dear, it would be rude of me to leave an elegant lady such as yourself in a brute's presence. Let us s-."

Everyone in the immediate vicinity had to do a double take to be sure they had seen right; for as soon as Guiche and Montmorency had spun around to take off, the green-clad young man was directly in front of them as if he had been there the whole time, a sly grin evident on his face. His miraculous appearance in that end of the field made Montmorency fall flat on her rear whilst Guiche gazed at him with a dumbfounded expression on his face.

"How did you…" Guiche said, but trailed off, too shocked for words.

"So slow," Yusuke's teasing insult was seemingly the only explanation they were going to get for his teleportation-like feat, "You didn't really think I would just let you scamper away to go hide underneath a rock till a time comes that's convenient for you, did you?" Guiche flinched at being bluntly called out, "You challenge me on your terms, then truthfully expect me to patiently wait so we can duke it out? Ehhh. Sorry, kiddo, but I don't play by your rules, I play by my own. The scrimmage begins now. No delays."

To add more weight to his explanation, Yusuke brought his heel up, bringing it crashing down with immense force on the mole's head, completely sinking in the ground as if it was quick sand, causing the blond-duo to lose their balance from the tremendous tremor the so-called "familiar of zero" caused with his mere foot.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

The shock-induced faces were now all around the clearance, knocking the wind out of their sails, thus allowing the silence to engulf the area they were all in, no one hardly believing their eyes at what they just witnessed. A commoner had cratered the ground without the use of magic. How was that even possible?

"No way," Kiriche said, voicing everyone's thoughts, "Did Handsome always possess that level of power? It's difficult to fathom Louise the zero could summon someone so immensely powerful."

Shaking off the cobwebs, the first act of devastation Guiche noticed was a smudge of blood, a testament to his missing familiar, "Ah! What have you done to my dear Verdante?!" Guiche gasped, slowly extending his hands toward the pool of blood beneath the messy heel of Yusuke as if it would bring his familiar back.

"I killed it." Yusuke deadpanned without remorse.

Guiche scowled, standing up with his rose held firmly in his fingers, "You are truly a treacherous man and keeping you alive to taint the marvellous lives of bountiful young ladies would be a sin in of itself," Jumping back in an attempt to put some distance between himself and the hellish brute that had so cold-bloodedly murdered his familiar, Guiche's eyes widened at the dashing form of his opponent appearing right in front of his face, clutching onto his throat before pinning him to the ground.

"Guiche/lord Guiche!" Guiche would've winced if it wasn't for the hand strangling the air out of him by the chorus of his name being yelled out in concern by not only Montmorency, but also another feminine's voice.

"Looks like your harem will see you buried six-feet under, eh?" Yusuke grinned devilishly, savouring the look of horror that appeared in Guiche's eyes.

"Hey, just who are you?" Montmorency asked blankly, approaching a brown-haired girl who wore a brown cloak identifying her as a first year student.

"Oh. I'm Katie. I was looking for lord Guiche because I'm with him."

"What? But there must be some mistake! I'm with Guiche."

"What?"

"Ouch. You're screwed," With a sneer, Yusuke stood up, effortlessly keeping his hold on Guiche's neck so the blond was hovering in the air, dangling his legs about.

"Guiche, is this true!" Montmorency and Katie demanded simultaneously.

"M-Montmorency, I-I c-can explain. You are only the girl for me," Guiche nervously insisted, not sure whether to be thankful or resentful Yusuke was easing up on his throat enough so he could attempt to smooth talk his way out of trouble, "Oh Katie, I had not meant to deceive you, dear. It was all just one huge misunderstanding. You really are the only woman for me."

"You liar!" The girls shouted, storming off, leaving behind a laughing crowd and one distraught Guiche.

"You should've been open with 'em from the start," Yusuke said, casually adding more pressure to Guiche's throat, making him gag for air, "It would've saved ya the trouble for one. Nothing wrong with wanting to build yourself an harem, but don't be discreet about it. That's called two-timing, you know? Just sayin'."

Watching the colour slowly begin to leave Guchie's skin complexion placed a mirror dollar question in Kirche's mind, "Say, Tabitha. You don't suppose Handsome actually plans to kill Guiche, do you? I mean, he's adding an awful amount of pressure to his throat right about now."

"Yes, he does," Tabitha insisted bluntly, earning herself a widened eyed look of shock from the red-haired busty young woman.

"What?" She gasped, twirling around to face the scene before her, "I had not expected he would be willing to go that far. Why do you think Handsome would want to kill Guiche in the first place?"

"Just watch," Tabitha whispered unemotionally, earning herself a brief glance of curiosity outside of Kirche's peripheral vision. When the red-haired young woman saw a red fire ball comprised of magic heading for Yusuke, she was taken aback when the man merely backhanded it to oblivion without even sparing a glance to the culprit.

"Whoa! He just repelled magic!" Kirche gasped, mirroring everyone else's gawking expressions.

"Lord Urameshi, no!"

Confusion drowned in the area among the students at the superior title their own superior had given to one mere commoner. As if looking for clarification of this, they looked in the direction of the desperate plead, fascinated to see Professor Colbert standing by the entrance to the clearing with a bead of sweat rolling down his cheek. The more their brains rationalized Colbert's desperation and seemingly undying loyalty to Yusuke, the more they began to realize the difference in class between their powers and his.

And they soon feared for Guiche's life.

"Please lord Urameshi, I beg of you!" Colbert begged, "Please do not do what you're considering."

"Lord Urameshi?" Kirche asked blankly.

"His power is far greater than you had all originally surmised," Tabitha rationalized with bone-chilling indifference, insinuating that she had been aware of Yusuke's massive power beforehand, "It explains why Professor Colbert feels he must succumb to his will."

"Unbelievable," Kirche whispered, dumbfounded.

"He opposed me," Yusuke plainly summarized with a mere glance out of the corner of his eye at the nigh-balded man, glancing back to Guiche with an even colder look than before, "It's obvious, to me anyway, that he must die," Guiche tried to gasp, but he only ended up gagging for breath.

"But my lord, you have to understand and take into consideration Mr Gramont's ignorance in this act of resistance! I can assure you had he known of your predominance beforehand, he would not have dared to try to defy you, my lord! My lord!" Colbert cried out in a pleading manner, causing the surrounding students to fall into a stupor seeing the highly respected veteran pitifully begging what they assumed was a simple commoner to spare Guiche's life as if he was god himself.

"Aw, boo, hoo, hoo. It really sucks to be him then. You know I'm the king of this castle, and as any good king, I gotta set an example to my followers to keep 'em from stepping out of line. In other words, he's fodder for their development, but considering that he's cannon fodder regardless, I say this is a fitting end for him."

"But my lord, that's not fair!"

"Yeah? Well life isn't fair," Yusuke retorted casually, billowing out tremendous gusts of wind from all around him, causing the surrounding students to shrink back involuntarily from the fierce release of his power, "You just gotta pick yourself up and make the most of it."

"Amazing! He's got wind magic!" Kirche gaped.

"N-No," Tabitha said in an awed murmur, holding her staff above her head, "This is... something else entirely."

"Lord Urameshi, please!" Colbert screamed, dropping to his knees, "I will reward you with everything your heart so desires if you would just spare Mr Gramont's life!"

"Yet you can't grant me the method I actually want right now, can you?" Yusuke asked rhetorically, making Colbert turn his head away from him. Yusuke shook his head in disapproval, cracking the ground beneath his heels from the pressure of his spirit energy, "You really are a starry-eyed moron Cue-ball, and for that, as well as your pitiful attempt to fight against me for a spoiled brat, you will be severely disciplined," Throwing Guiche straight up into the sky, a blinding flash of green light submerged around the king of the academy, creating exceptionally powerful vibrations so mighty they brought everyone in the district to their knees.

"LORD URAMESHI!"

XxX

(Elsewhere - with Louise)

The immensely strong, earth-threatening tremors continuously occurred, quaking the entire academy, consequently forcing the little depressed pink haired teen girl flat on her stomach with a loud scream of terror.

"What the hell's going on?" Louise asked fearfully, actually only attempting to sit up on her knees, but the earthquakes had other ideas, because it forced her on her side where she was assaulted by a myriad of rocks and dirt, "I-If t-this k-keeps u-up, t-then t-the w-whole a-academy's going to come down on our heads!" She turned her fearful gaze outside where there was a blazing green light moulding to form a blob so tremendously large Louise couldn't even see how far the light extended, but her gut-feeling told her just how it came about.

"Why I am getting the feeling he's a part of this? M-My, m-my-my, my... *sighs* milord."

XxX

(Clearance)

As the otherworldly earthquake finally died down, a massive shadow eclipsed the academy in its entirety.

Though, it took a gentle tap on the shoulder by Tabitha to alert a frantically screaming Kirche to the silence.

"Eh? Oh. It stopped," Kiriche blinked, noticing the darkness, "Hey, is it night time already?" She had a date to attend by this time you know. Feeling another tap on her shoulder, she turned her head to the side to eye the bespectacled Tabitha who once again had on her stoic mask of absolute calmness, "What is it, hon?"

"Up there," Tabitha whispered.

Kiriche blinked, looking up to see an indescribable creature of complete omniscience. Well... the animal the unspeakable avatar represented was easy to identify, but the size and immeasurable power it emanated was not. The red-haired young woman was just thankful it had chosen to forged an equally massive cloud that had a long puffy trail behind it to hang over the academy, otherwise she was sure it would've crushed the academy and its inhabitants in its entirety. Its built was all green, but its fur was a darker, more profound shade of green to help it stand out.

Like its fur and its tail that swayed above its rear, the giant animal's attire was also a more profound, darker shade of green consisting of a bandanna wrapped tightly around its forehead, a belt with a fist emblem keeping its trousers up, a pair of boots with the ends of its trousers tucked into it confines of the boots, a sleeveless vest-jacket, and a pipe hanging casually from its lips.

Perhaps the most intimidating form of gear on this deity's person was the colossal staff, that, like its body, could've dwarfed a mountain in size.

"I... don't believe it."

"Is... t-this the distinct power of a god?"

"I-It's... out of our league."

Kirche started the fearful whispers, but a few nondescript wizards finished for her.

"Oh lord," Colbert whispered, looking up at a glowing herculean primate that was typically small and mischievous in nature. Well, its creator was mischievous, he just took it to a devilish degree, "We are dealing with a living breathing god."

The mother of all monkeys whirled on its perch, eliciting whimpers all around as its eyes, the only other part of it that wasn't actually green, scanned the clearing, easily landing on Colbert. Seeing the otherworldly monkey's bloodshot red orbs set on him made a shiver run up Colbert's spine before it slammed its staff into the ground with emphasis, creating yet another tremor that bounced the students up.

"Just putting his weapon down causes an earthquake!" Kirche said in wonderment, slowly standing up.

Extending its massive hand toward the earth, the monkey deity had everyone freezing in fright, hoping it wasn't one of them by chance that it picked up. Ignoring the fidgety wizards, the monkey carefully plucked Colbert up by the scruff of his jacket using its index finger and thumb, bringing him up to its forehead. Now that Colbert was level with the monkey's forehead he could see lord Urameshi standing within the yellow diamond, arms crossed over his chest and a detached expression on his face.

"L-Lord Urameshi, please..."

Ignoring Colbert's plead, Yusuke brought his avatar's massive index finger and thumb to Colbert's right leg, pulling the limb off of his body. A wave of immense pain exploded through Colbert consequently followed by an agonizingly loud scream.

"You see that kid?" Yusuke said, directing his question to his avatar's barely closed hand. Turning it over, Yusuke allowed it to open, revealing a cowering Guiche curled up in a ball, "That's a hero's punishment," He brought a one-legged Colbert over to the palm Guiche was on, while simultaneously allowing the severed leg he had pulled from Colbert's socket to roll down from his fingers, stopping next to Guiche.

"Oh good gracious!" Guiche cowered, crawling away the severed limb, "P-P-P-P-P-Please y-y-y-y-your majesty! I do not wish to die!"

"Oh? That's a shame. Just got a message from the big-cheese upstairs, telling me to inform ya he's got a crib all ready with your name on it, but if you don't want to go there then you can always go somewhere else instead."

"Y-Yes, y-y-yes y-yes, your majesty. Somewhere else would be most preferable indeed, yes!"

A demented grin appeared on Yusuke's face.

"Like hell..."

"Nooooo-." Guiche was cut off by his vision being consumed by darkness, the palm he was once on now clenched into a tight fist of malicious intent.

"Say hi to Verdante for me," Yusuke said mercilessly, "Listen up, maggots!" He commanded, earning himself rapt attention from the remaining students, kneeling down to drop Colbert to the ground where the students hurried over to check on his one-legged form, gasping in fright, "You've all just witnessed the repercussions of attempting to oppose me, your king. If you do not wish to suffer the same fate as that blond dumbass you will undoubtedly recognize me as your king. For those of you who desire undeniable protection pledge your allegiance to me by bowing down before me. Now."

Just seeing his godly power was enough for the second year students of Tristain Academy to submit to Yusuke's will, but knowing of the repercussions for defying him gave them all the motivation to dedicate their lives, dreams and all, to this ungodly powerful man in the fear that he would slaughter them all off just like he had done to Guiche.

"Good. With me in charge there's going to be some changes around this dump. First of all, each of you will be given chores that need to be accomplished, ranging from sweeping up the hallways, doing your own damned laundry, or even assisting the cooks in the kitchen. Another thing, neither of you will not, under any circumstance, rely on your familiar or a maid to attend to everyday household chores you, by all rights, should fucking do your damned selves. If I happen to find any of you lounging around while your familiar does all the work then shit will go down. And by shit will go down I mean..."

He turned his avatar's fist over so the palm would be facing the ground, making the monkey spread out its fingers to release the blood of the former blond in a showery show, much to everyone's terror.

"...I will systematically erase you off of the map. Comprende?"

"Yes, milord/Lord Urameshi/King Urameshi/My lord."

"Fantastic."

* * *

><p><span>Yusuke's abilities<span>

**Kami Honkon (Deity Kong)** - After his defeat at the hands of Yomi, Yusuke spent a lot of time in contemplation. Knowing how he fought, which was bull-charging straight ahead without using anything even remotely resembling strategy until it was convenient to pull out a sure-fire method out of his ass, Yusuke knew he needed to seriously heighten his defences if he wanted to fight the way he did.

It took him a few weeks to broaden his control of his reiki to proficient levels, but once he did he was able to condense and harden a massive portion of his reiki around his entire body, offering him impenetrable protection to a godly level. From there he only needed an icon to mould his tremendously huge reiki into so he wouldn't have to worry about going in and out of his shield to fight.

Choosing what animal he would ultimately use to represent the very first technique he'd ever created was a problem at first because he liked quite a few animals. He admired the tenacity of a tiger, the speed of a cheetah and the ruthlessness of a bear, but eventually the choice was surprisingly picked for him, when he went on a date with Keiko to a local zoo in his homeland. A particular cheeky monkey had originally robbed his sunglasses. It amazed him that he had only play-fought with that little bastard instead of just killing him, but not Keiko who went on to explain that Yusuke himself shared similar characteristics to monkeys.

It gave him food for thought but after he found the monkey looking up Keiko's skirt before dashing off he knew he had his match.

That monkey was just awesome

* * *

><p><strong>Before you ask, yes, yes I did just give Yusuke a susanoo. Why? Simple. It's one of the most badass techniques in Naruto. Period.<strong>


End file.
